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Jacqueline Laurita Must Have “Bleached Her Asshole” Because She is Obsessing Over Gorga-Giudice Drama
“Jacqueline, you are a very vindictive person. If you perceive even the smallest slight, whether it’s true or not, you go directly for the jugular and are always hitting below the belt with your comments. You try to drag people into your delusions to support you. You are obsessed with Teresa and just a nasty person. I would never have a ‘delusional sellout’ friend like you. There should be a sign on your forehead that reads ‘Caution, proceed at your own risk if you’re thinking of befriending me’.” – Trippin-it, June 24, 2013, Jacqueline’s Bravo Blog
In season 5 episode 1, Jacqueline said that listening to Gorga-Giudice family drama is “right up there on her priority list with bleaching her asshole”.
“I’m tired of listening to Gorga-Giudice family drama. It’s right up there on my priority list with bleaching my asshole.” – Jacqueline Laurita, Season 5, Episode 1 (TH)
It seems she must have done so since she spent the majority of episode 4 talking about Teresa.
During episode 4, Jolene, Jacqueline’s personal trainer, comes to her house for a session, but Jacqueline says she really doesn’t want to workout. Jolene asks her if she wants to do a squat. Jacqueline says she’ll do just one. And then she goes on a long rant about Teresa.
Jacqueline TH:
“I get really angry when it comes to working out. My botox face is making a mad face [referencing the reunion show taped in September 2012]. Teresa’s got Botox face too. Lets own up to that, Teresa.”
About Melissa inviting her to the gym where Teresa also works out:
Jacqueline: Teresa was freaking out, “Why is Jacqueline at my gym?”
Jolene (with the best line of the episode): Get over it.
Jacqueliene: You know how crazy she is. You used to work her out!
Jacqueline TH:
“Melissa told me that Teresa’s upset. I went to the same gym that she goes to. I am not stalking Teresa at the gym, for God’s sake! I feel like I’m in grade school. It’s like draw the line, [in baby voice] ‘This is my space. Don’t cross the line’!”
Jolene is tuning out Jacqueline, making futile attempts to get her to workout, but Jacqueline is only interested in ranting about Teresa (“Jolene is completely disgusted with Jacqueline but she doesn’t notice because her mouth was flapping non stop”):
“She wants friends that are like, ‘You’re right! She’s a bitch!’ I was considered not a loyal friend if I didn’t do or say the things she wanted me to do to her family [Jolene interrupts to try to get her to do some triceps – Jacqueline is oblivious to what Jolene is saying]. Once she’s mad at someone, she really doesn’t forget. Like, she’ll say it, she’ll pretend, but she never really gets over it [Jolene again tries to interrupt by asking, “Can we start?’, but Jacqueline continues on her rant]. That’s what friends do, they have each other’s backs. [Jolene, at her wit’s end, says, ”Great’.] Cuz Melissa’s coming out with this whole marriage book, and all the sudden now Teresa is doing a speaking engagement at a bridal expo on how to have a healthy marriage. [Mocking voice], ‘How to have your husband call you a c!’ [chuckles]
Jacqueline TH:
“A friend of mine gave me a book that would help me recognize a lot of similarities between a sociopath and Teresa. Putting the blame on others, being able to look you in the eye and lie with no remorse, um, there’s a lot of things. I mean, google it.”
Jacqueline sat beside Caroline, intently listening while she and Melissa talked about Gorga-Giudice drama.
Caroline: You’re both harboring too much anger.
Melissa: I’m not! No, no, no! You’re wrong!
Caroline TH:
“Teresa said, ‘You don’t know the real Melissa.’ You know what, maybe I don’t. They all are holding onto grudges.”
Melissa TH:
“Listen Miss Manzo. I always listen to your wise words of wisdom. But I think you might be a little off here for once. I do argue with Teresa and we do go tit-for-tat. But I do try! It’s not my fault.”
The conversation continued:
Caroline: You gotta deal with it. Then you have attitude. Then you go home and tell your husband, and your husband has attitude… it gets deeper and deeper!
Melissa: Can I tell you guys this. I almost felt like she wanted me to be uncomfortable. I almost feel like, she’s like, ‘C’mon bitch, stop coming.’
Caroline to Kathy and Melissa: I feel like right now she is completely incapable of having a relationship with either of you.
Melissa: Why, we are her family?
“Jacqueline, you do realize you did the same thing with Danielle! How many times did we hear you say, ‘I’m not going to even say her name she is toxic’, yet every week all you did was talk about Danielle?!! You’re doing the same thing to your girl Teresa!!! Geez! Your like single white friend!! Scary!!” – piperbeau, June 24, 2013, Jacqueline’s Bravo Blog
“Jacqueline, you think you take the high road but you really don’t…you have this ‘get even’ thing about you and, in the end, you just look desperate and need to control the way people think of you.” – lovebravo12, June 24, 2013, Jacqueline’s Bravo Blog
Below are excerpts from Caroline’s and Jacqueline’s Bravo blogs for episode 4.
The Gorgas Lied About Being Sick When Joe’s Father Was Hospitalized, Plus They Lied About Driving Him to the Hospital
Joe Gorga’s father was hospitalized in ICU starting late Saturday night, January 5, 2013. Joe’s mother said she called Joe to drive his father to the hospital, but he told her he was sick, so she called for an ambulance at 4 AM (the early morning hours of Sunday, January 6, 2013).
Joe was not sick that Saturday night, January 5th, because Melissa posted a photo on her Facebook page of the two of them out on the town (see photo above).
After partying that night, Joe was in no condition to drive his father to the hospital when his mother called in the early morning hours, but he couldn’t tell her that, so he said he was sick. Since season 5 was taping at the time, they had to come up with stories and act them out on camera to cover their asses.
If they truly were sick, they wouldn’t have filmed and Melissa wouldn’t have gone to the gym to workout. Even Kathy called out Missy at the gym on not being sick: Kathy mumbled under her breath, “You’re not sick,” when Melissa said she hasn’t visited her father-in-law because she has a sore throat.
Joe was not sick with the flu and Melissa did not have a sore throat that prevented her from visiting her father-in-law until Wednesday, four days later – Joe’s father was very sick, in ICU, and could have passed away, so Melissa shouldn’t have waited four days to visit him.
Bottom line: Joe and Melissa lied about being sick because they knew that Joe would look bad for not driving his father to the hospital and Melissa would look bad for waiting four days to visit him in ICU. Their stories about being sick are lame attempts to protect themselves from blame and criticism.
The truth is they were out partying Saturday night, January 5th, the night Joe’s father became so ill he had to be hospitalized, and when Joe’s mother called around 4 AM, they were too tired, wasted or hungover to drive him.
To make matters worse, Melissa gave an interview on June 23, 2013 with The Hollywood Reporter and told them: “My husband was the one who rushed him to the hospital,” basically calling Joe’s mother a liar. “He got up in the middle of the night. Teresa was not there that night. My husband was, and he was coming down with something.”
Just five days earlier, in her June 17th Bravo blog, Melissa worded her story a little differently, saying: “On Sunday at 3:00 AM, my mother-in-law called us to say Joe’s father couldn’t breathe. Joe didn’t hesitate. He got up, and rushed to the hospital.” Notice the subtle difference and intentional vagueness of her words: she told The Hollywood Reporter that “my husband was the one who rushed him to the hospital,” but wrote in her blog that, “Joe got up and rushed to the hospital.”
Apparently, in November 2013, Joe Gorga did drive his father to the hospital for his scheduled pacemaker surgery – Melissa thinks she is being slick by substituting this scheduled hospital stay in November 2012 with an emergency visit in January 2013. Only a pathological liar would give an interview and flat out lie about an incident which was clearly recorded and televised during episode 3 (when Teresa’s mother says that she called an ambulance at 4 AM).
For further confirmation that Joe was lying about being sick, the day before, on January 4th, Joe went to the dentist and was feeling just fine:
“Wow I just left the best dentist office @RauchbergDental without any pain, and a goodie bag” – Joe Gorga, 3:41 PM on January 4, 2013, Twitter
For even more proof that the Gorgas lied, Melissa’s first tweet about Joe being sick wasn’t until Wednesday, January 9th, which happened to be the same day she first visited her father-in-law in the hospital (this is not a coincidence):
“How is everyone?! @joegorga has a fever:.( I’m nursing him back to health..” – Melissa Gorga, January 9, 2013, Twitter
They even went as far as tweeting on Thursday, January 10th (also not a coincidence) that Joe was in the hospital (he was not admitted, but they gave the impression that he was):
“I’m dying over here in the hospital this flu kicked my ass. Not a word or movement from Tarzan in 4 days #Pain.” – Joe Gorga, January 10, 2013, Twitter
Melissa forgot that she was supposed to be caring for her sickly husband because on the same day Joe tweeted that he was in the hospital, she tweeted a photo of herself and Antonia shopping at the Paramus mall (see the photo below of Antonia on the carousel):
“Quick stop at the mall.. Little Miss Antonia insisted on the carousel! http://instagr.am/p/UUVBbSJC7g/” – Melissa Gorga, 1:04 PM on January 10, 2013, Twitter
Plus she made her hair appointment the next morning, Friday, January 11th, even tweeting about her “amazing blowout” (which you can see in footage from Gia’s birthday party later that day):
“Just left @BogettaSB salon in Cedar grove.. Seriously the best blowout around.” – Melissa Gorga, January 11, 2013, Twitter
Five days later, on Tuesday, January 15th, after supposedly going to the hospital for treatment for his runny bowels due to the stomach flu, the Gorgas tweeted a photo of the two of them out to dinner (see photo below). Joe did not have had the flu that was going around at that time because those who got it were very sick for two weeks — Joe “recovered” quickly because he was never sick like they acted out on camera.
They look perfectly fine and dandy in the photos they posted to instagram (see photos above) from January 1st through January 13th – and Melissa hosted two bottle signings for Voli Vodka during that time period.
The following are Melissa’s and Teresa’s Bravo blogs for season 5 episode 3 plus a commentary by Jeannie5233.
Melissa Gorga Takes a Dig at Joe Giudice’s Mother; Teresa Giudice Says Her Brother Projects His Guilt onto Others (Updated 7/25/2013)
The Giudice family does not like Melissa Gorga, and the feeling is mutual. In season 5 episode 4, Juicy Joe’s mother responded to Teresa bringing up Melissa’s advice book on how to have a real and sexy marriage by saying:
Melissa addressed the comment in her Bravo blog for the episode by saying:
The discord between the two extended families probably started at the Christening, which was filmed in October 2010 and aired during the premiere episode of season 3, Melissa and Joe Gorga’s first episode as cast members on RHONJ. They introduced themselves to viewers by starting a brawl at their youngest son’s Christening.
On October 27, 2010, Melissa’s camp fed a story (it has her name written all over it) to RadarOnline, accusing Joe Giudices’s mother of throwing the first punch:
On July 11, 2012, a “source” for Reality Tea said that “Melissa’s sister accused Joe’s mother of pulling her hair at the Christening, and that didn’t sit well with the Giudice side at all.”
On July 25, 2013, Teresa’s friend and co-writer of her cookbooks, Heather Maclean, tweeted that Juicy Joe’s mother was attacked at little Joey Gorga’s christening in the opening episode of season 3.
According to a former post production supervisor, the Christening brawl in October 2010 was must worse than what was televised, with extended family members (probably on Melissa’s side since nothing this bad had happened before the Gorgas joined the show) attacking cameramen and throwing their cameras across the room:
I suspect bad blood between the Giudice family and the Marco family started at the Christening, and has only gotten worse since then. It is obvious there is no love lost between Joe Giudice and Melissa Gorga. Joe Gorga and Joe Giudice used to be close, but that is no longer the case since Joe Gorga unequivocally defends his wife’s, and her family members’, actions (they are his “real” family, as Melissa’s sisters like to claim).
The following are Teresa Giudice’s and Melissa Gorga’s Bravo blogs for season 5 episode 4.