Out of Touch Weekly
Finally, we get to the showdown we’ve been waiting for. Once in front of Teresa, Jacqueline can barely get the words out, telling her she hears more from the tabloids than her supposed best friend. In true Teresa form, she avoids the questions, offers her attorney’s number for unclear reasons, and makes it seem preposterous for Jacqueline to even suggest that she is in any way in any kind of trouble.
Teresa denies ever being paid by InTouch, but then basically admits something shady is going on, by saying that Jacqueline should really mind her own beeswax. Somehow, in Teresa’s mind, Jacqueline is the one who’s the two-faced “Hekyll and Jyde”, which is an apt representation of Teresa’s scrambled egg brains, and how far away from reality she really is.
Then, Jacqueline brings out the heavy artillery, revealing that Teresa was tweeting Danielle Staub, possibly the craziest of the booted Bravo housewives. Teresa reveals that Danielle told her (via Twitter no less) that Melissa was blabbing family secrets to her, as a part of her evil plan to destroy Teresa. Jacqueline reminds Teresa that this was legitimately two years ago, and that there are things that are happening now that matter more. Like say, the conversation right in front of her.
But once again, this devolves into another Melissa vs Teresa battle, even though Melissa isn’t there. It’s the same story we could recite by memory at this point — everyone is jealous of Teresa, for reasons unknown, and out to destroy her in a wildly public fashion.
Then of course, Big Momma Manzo fortuitously drops in to moderate this fight, backing up Jacqueline’s story that Teresa told them she was on the tabloid payroll. Shockingly, Caroline gets a wee riled up, throwing her own issues into the fire, which ends with both of them calling each other crazy, like any good housewife battle does.
Caroline basically calls off their already nonexistent friendship, while Teresa keeps hurling nonsensical insults in an effort to avoid copping to anything. Caroline says she feels like an “accessory” to Teresa’s rapidly disintegrating life, and Jacqueline, tearfully follows suit, finally jumping the Teresa (friend)ship.
As Teresa walks away from her now ex-friends, Caroline can’t help but get one last jab in, calling out Teresa’s “nice” (and no doubt pricey) Louis Vuitton bag, reminding us all that Teresa may be the one who’s really “crazy.”
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Joe Gorga Sold His Parents’ Home Out from Under Them
Joe Gorga Sold His Parents’ Home Out from Under Them
In February 2001, while using his parents’ home at 281 Maitland Ave. in Paterson, NJ, as his primary address (he may have been still living at home), 27-year old Joe Gorga bought a lot in Franklin Lakes for $345,000 with the intention of one day building a custom home on it (probably to flip for profit).
Fifteen months later, on May 15, 2002, Joe bought a home to use as his primary residence at 259 Black Oak Ridge Road in Wayne, NJ, for $510,000 (instrument #2002056041*) — he took out a $408,000 mortgage on the home in his name only with NJ Lenders Corp. (instrument #2002056042*), which means his down payment was $102,000.
Almost a year later, in March 2003, Joe first met Melissa Marco during Spring Break in Cancun (she was 24; he was 29) — they hung out and partied as a group, but she wasn’t interested in him because he was too short and not her type. Upon returning home to New Jersey, Joe pursued her and visited her while she worked at Lookers Gentlemen’s Club, but she didn’t want anything to do with him.
Determined to win over Melissa by impressing her with wealth, Joe decided to build a 5,576 SF custom home on the Franklin Lakes lot he purchased more than two years earlier, in early 2001.
Joe needed his parents help, so three months after Joe first met Melissa, on June 19, 2003, his parents sold their home in Paterson, NJ, for $256,000 (instrument #2003079517*)and moved into Joe’s home at 259 Black Oak Ridge Road — this is the home Joe Gorga talked about in season 4 episode 10, the one he later sold out from under them.
During season 4, Joe Gorga said that he owned the house that his parents lived in, but then sold it, and now is paying their rent while he looks for a little ranch house for them. In the episode where Joe and Teresa go to therapy together, Joe talks about an article saying that he took money from their mom, and that Teresa and Juicy are building a house — or garage apartment — for them. In the stairwell of the therapist’s building, we hear audio of Joe telling Teresa that the tabloid sh*t has to stop, and her claiming that she didn’t put anything out there, and him yelling at her not to lie. And then Joe yells, “You guys want to move ’em into that f*cking shack that you built. He don’t want to move there!” And then Teresa says that Joe should buy their parents a house, and what’s the big deal since he’s doing so well. If she had the money, she says, she would f*cking give it to them. And then Joe calls her out on her expensive purse before yelling that she doesn’t f*cking get it. [Source]
Joe completed construction on the Franklin Lakes home at 149 Pulis Avenue in 2003; impressed by the home, Melissa began dating Joe in October of that year. This is the home Melissa was referring to when Teresa claims she said:
“I wasn’t stupid like my sisters; of course when I saw his house I was going to jump on that shit.”
In December 2003, a couple months after they started dating, Melissa moved into Joe’s Franklin Lakes home.
“That pic u have of her and the dog ‘gucci’ saddens me. She gave him up when she moved in with Joe. She loved him but $ more.” – Melissa’s ex boyfriend, Bryan, January 25, 2013, Twitter (@bulldog_nj)
Eight months later, in August 2004, Melissa married Joe.
“I remember the Friday nite u said 2 me, stop seeing other girls or I will marry that millionaire. 3 months Lata you were married Lol.” – Melissa’s ex boyfriend, Bryan, January 25, 2013, Twitter (@bulldog_nj)
“What’s funny is she would always tell me her brother in law is a lot like me ‘juicy’ then when I saw him on TV I saw why. He don’t put on act.” – Melissa’s ex boyfriend, Bryan, January 24, 2013, Twitter (@bulldog_nj)
Less than a year later, on May 5, 2005, with the value of his homes in Franklin Lakes and Wayne skyrocketing because of the real estate bubble, Joe and Melissa purchased a ‘shore house’ in Toms River, NJ, for $450,000.
A little more than a year later, on August 7, 2006, at the peak of the real estate bubble, Joe sold their Franklin Lakes home for $2.45 million, making a significant profit ($1 million+).
On October 11, 2007, they purchased a very modest home at 491 Summer Street in Paterson, NJ for $170,000. It is unclear if they lived there or rented a home somewhere else, content to have money in the bank. Melissa said that she and Joe rented a home while he was building the mansion in Montville — the mortgage document for their construction loan listed their address as 35 Gravel Hill Road, Kinnelon, NJ.
Everything changed in 2007 when Teresa was cast on RHONJ. For 11 months before filming began in 2008, Teresa mulled over the decision to join the cast or not (as explained by Andy Cohen on the June 17, 2012, episode of WWHL — she kept dropping in and out). During this time, unlike Teresa, Melissa and Joe were very anxious to join the show. She and Joe began looking for an estate lot to buy near Teresa so they could be close to her and hopefully be taped along with her, living an upper-class lifestyle.
The Entire Cast Talked About the Giudices’ Finances on Camera and Joe Gorga Talked on Camera About Selling His Parents’ Home
During season 3 and 4, the entire cast pointed out on camera (including their testimonials) how Teresa was spending money she supposedly didn’t have, considering she and her husband had filed for bankruptcy protection. In particular, they talked about the new carport, garage with apartment, designer shoes and handbags, and new furniture.
Teresa was selling stories about her troubles to tabloids (who can forget My Life Without Joe and the golden retriever). By this point the BK Trustee had already accused them of filing a fraudulent petition, so Teresa going to jail was also a possibility. But Teresa’s still spending away, and Jacqueline made sure to point that out on camera: she mentioned the spending sprees on the wine room, carport, garage and furniture. She forgot handbags.
Jacqueline was the first and only person that ever questioned the fact that they were broke (and telling the tabloids all about it for a price), yet spending on the show like everything was great and her only problem was her whore of a SIL. Jacqueline may be in the exact same position and may well have looted Signature Apparel to pay for all her botox and plastic surgery. If so, Teresa should reciprocate and call her out on that. If Jacqueline and Chriswere doing some shady stuff, they were smart enough to not come across as materialistic as Teresa did. Teresa running through the streets looking for Chanel, refusing to sit on a used toilet, guilting Juicy into a 10th anniversary present they had no money for. This was all on Teresa.
Also, in season 3, the entire cast also talked on camera about Teresa being paid for tabloid covers and interviews.
Early in season 4, Teresa was surprised when Jacqueline mentioned the garage with apartment above and new closet (Teresa corrected her and said, “no closest”) that the Guidice’s were building (it was also reported in the tabloids).
The following are just a few things that cast keeps mentioning regarding the Giudice’s spending after filing for bankruptcy protection in October 2009:
- Teresa is fake and a bully, and she is losing her sense of reality and has no real friends left
- Teresa is competitive to a fault
- Teresa holds grudges and won’t let go of the past
- Teresa is selling stories to tabloids to garner pity from the viewers while presenting her cast mates in a negative light (“profiting from people’s pity,” according to Jacqueline)
- Teresa is spending money while in bankruptcy (the entire cast in separate scenes mentions the exact same things: carport, garage with apartment above it, new closet, new furniture, expensive purses)
- Teresa is trying to keep up with the Gorgas
- Teresa is trying to breakup Melissa’s marriage
- Teresa is a bad aunt and mother (these haven’t stuck)
- Teresa doesn’t support the other cast members’ business endeavors and also tries to steal them
- “Teresa is never happy for any of the good things that went on in our lives” (direct quote of Melissa in OK! magazine)
- Teresa is in cahoots with Kim D and Penny to setup Melissa to expose her past/assassinate her character
- Joe Giudice is homophobic
- Teresa never takes responsibility for her actions
- Teresa is playing victim but Melissa is the real victim
The following is an excerpt from Teresa’s Bravo blog (“Teresa says she is done with Caroline and Jacqueline”) for season 4 episode 8.
“Before I get into the actual ‘discussion,’ I have to address a few things of the things they were saying behind my back before I got there. My mother taught me to never point out, question, or judge people for what they eat or how they spend their money. Until you walk in their shoes, you don’t know, and it’s not your place to know. Apparently the Manzo and Laurita family didn’t get that same lesson. I’m only glad I don’t have an eating problem too…
[…]
“Jacqueline and Chris revealed on the show that they have their own financial issues. WHICH I DID NOT KNOW. She and Chris know it’s sensitive, that talking about accusations against you could hurt the outcome… and yet they did it anyway. To me and Joe. Behind our back. I was sick and shocked that they would have such an obviously planned and hurtful conversation about Joe’s and my finances knowing it could hurt us.
Note from Fame: Chris Laurita’s company filed for bankruptcy in 2009, and Chris and Jacqueline are named in an $8 million lawsuit where they are accused of draining the company of its funds. They were also sued over the creation and branding of BLK water.
[…]
“I do believe that Jacqueline was upset and slowly breaking down, but it was not because of an obviously fake story that obviously didn’t bother me. So what was it? Maybe it was upsetting her that at the exact same time her ex-husband, John Madison ‘Matt’ Holmes, Ashley’s father, who we saw on this episode, was arrested with his wife for a long list of things. Funny that Jacqueline — great friend who tells her friends everything — never said a word about it. She tweeted about Matt being investigated by the FBI, but didn’t say one word to her friends. What? Matt was actually arrested and that doesn’t need a conversation, but me not telling her about one of the million fake stories about me in a tabloid, that’s a huge breach of our friendship?
“Even when I found out – NOT from her – about her own financial and legal troubles, would I ever talk about them on camera? No. I hate even bringing them up now, but I feel like in this case I have to because you need to see how her calling me a liar and hypocrite is just c-r-a-z-y.
[…]
“Caroline and Jacqueline know full well that when magazines are publishing tons of stories about me and my marriage, eventually you’re going to want to put out your own actual interview where you clear things up for your fans. Like Lauren Manzo talked to US Weekly about her lap band surgery this week. That is not ‘putting out stories.’ I explained that all in last week’s blog. And they know it. But to call doing an interview or photo shoot every so often the same as ‘putting out stories to the tabloids’ about myself is twisted and untrue. I have never, Heaven as my witness, put out a single rumor story to any tabloid or blog about myself or anyone else. I know for a fact they can’t say the same thing… Some of them have RadarOnline on speed dial!
[…]
“I also never, ever tweeted Danielle anything regarding Jacqueline’s daughter Ashley. I don’t know what she was talking about there. You all know I don’t go near any of the Holmes family, including crazy grandmas, on Twitter. The only time I’ve ever tweeted Danielle was after I was on WWHL.
[…]
“As far as Jacqueline goes, she is a really hard person to be good friends with because she is so unstable and moody. But I never thought her moods would turn crazy against me. She was screaming at me to “move on” and forgive Melissa for something evil that Melissa did two years ago, but guess what? I just found out about it a week earlier! Give me some time to process it! And I had already decided to and did publicly defend Melissa. How is it holding an old grudge when you just found out?
“Let me see if I can use an analogy Jacqueline might understand: if you caught your husband flirting with your friend, you would be understandably crushed. Say you worked through it for months though and forgave him. Then you found out he really didn’t just flirt, he slept with her. Two years ago. Does your old forgiveness count? It was two years ago! Why should you care? You said you forgave him! Hypocrite! Um, I say would you care. And that your previous forgiveness doesn’t count because you didn’t know what you were forgiving. You need to work through the new offense that you just found out about. Right?
“I knew Melissa joined the show behind my back with what I think are malicious intentions. I’m trying to work through it, but she’s giving me innocence and ‘Bravo just contacted me out of the blue.’ Then I find out months later that Melissa had possibly sold her soul to the devil to bring me down. Game changer, yes?
“If it were reversed and I had done that to Melissa, my brother would have had my head. If Jacqueline’s brother joined the show and trashed her, but claimed he joined it innocently, then she found out he’d been in contact with Danielle to do it, I think she’d probably go berserk. I’m just calming trying to process it.
“I’ll be honest, I really expected Jacqueline and Caroline to be on my side about Melissa’s harmful intentions when they found out Danielle was involved. Why wouldn’t they be, especially when they were just yelling at me for tweeting Danielle back? It makes no sense. Any friend (and all my other friends were!) would be outraged that Melissa had stooped so low. But instead, Jacqueline is defending Melissa, saying ‘so what?’ and crying about how her feelings are hurt?
I’m tired of playing on Planet Jacqueline. I’m done with the crazy. Done, done, done.
“I would never do anything to hurt or expose my friends or family, God’s honest truth. And I never have. Do I want to know what they’ve done to me so I can deal with it? Of course. Would I be crushed if some of their evil plots and secrets were exposed? I wish I could say yes, but truth be told, I’m not sure I wouldn’t be a little happy. Sorry, but I am human, and they’ve all hurt me very deeply. But their ‘exposing’ won’t come from me, ever. I believe you get back what you put into the world, and I’m only putting out positive things.
“You’ll see in the next episode that Melissa makes a surprising confession, and my brother and I come to an unexpected agreement. Giant shocker and small miracles, all in one.”
Melissa’s blog for episode 8 was short, and she didn’t say much — she and Joe did all their talking in episode 8, discussing Teresa’s finances, which is the same thing she accuses Teresa of doing and insists she would never do (the Gorgas script scenes to show how well they are doing in comparison to the Giudices, when their wealth is really a house of cards). In her blog, Melissa took a few subtle digs at Teresa for spending money while in bankruptcy (the exact same thing mentioned by the cast on the show — the closet, carport, furniture). She also discussed her mother- and father-in-law’s living situation and Joe’s parents being Teresa’s nannies (Teresa never mentioned that Lysa Simpson, Melissa’s sister, is her de facto nanny). She says nothing about Danielle’s accusations, except that she addressed it in the previous week’s blog and that we’ll hear more in the next episode.
In Melissa’s Bravo blogs, she wrote:
“Joe’s parents have been living in a house he owns for over 10 years. We sold it last year, but they will live there until Joe finds a perfect spot to build them a new one.
“On the outside, it seems that things are good — a new carport, new closets, a new garage/apartment, and new furniture in the house — no signs of anything being wrong.
“You can clearly see that we had the perfect opportunity to discuss Teresa and Joe Giudice’s financial problems, but we took the high road as we always do when that topic is brought up in the press, on the show, and around other people. We are not out to get Teresa or talk about their legal issues.
“Teresa’s financial issues were already out in the open and the tabloid covers and ‘posed pictures’ were already happening well before we joined the show. Teresa’s thing is her cookbooks, I would never dream of writing one or trying to take that from her. I know some people try to say we are similar, but we are VERY different people and I’m not trying to live her life.”
Three months after Joe first met Melissa, on June 19, 2003, his parents sold their home in Paterson, NJ, for $256,000 and moved into Joe’s home at 259 Black Oak Ridge Road — this is the home Joe Gorga talked about in season 4 episode 10, the one he later sold out from under them. This is the same house in which Joe ran his landscaping/construction from the basement. Melissa said that when they ran Joe’s business from the basement, she would go upstairs to Joe’s parent’s residence to warm Antonia’s bottle in the microwave until Teresa took the key from her (lost footage of therapy with Dr. V in Lake George) because she would often forget to close the garage doors.
Joe claimed he’s been footing his parent’s bills for the past 12 years? Man, he must have been quite the over achiever to have been able to take over the support of his parents at the ripe old age of 25. Something is certainly shady with Joe Go’s talk about paying his parents rent and looking for a nice ranch house for them. If you are in the real estate investment and construction business, you can find and renovate a house in months, just like they did with their shore house. If Joe Go is so well off, why wouldn’t he have renovated the shore house earlier: it wasn’t completed when until later in season 3?
Has Joe Gorga has been footing the bill for his parents for 12 years while Teresa and Juicy fritter their money away on the Mansion Juicy, custom made matching outfits for the kids, all Tre’s Christian Louboutin shows and furs, etc. and not contribute a dime to help the elderly parents?
The following is a recap of season 4 episode 8 by TWOP.
We enter this week’s episode of Neanderthal Theatre with some construction. It’s Juicy, apparently doing home repairs to Casa de Bankrupta. Teresa loves how sexy he looks while strutting about cement piles in his unironic wifebeater, but is less fond of the fact that their house looks like a junkyard. They do say that a person’s house is an external reflection of his grimy, grimy soul. Apparently Juicy is building a garage so he can store all of his “equipment,” like backhoes or mistresses or barrels full of Chianti from which he takes his nightly sponge bath. Teresa is dubious as Juicy describes plans for a carport that won’t be attached to the house, but is won over the minute he mentions that there will be a chandelier. She assures us that going bankrupt doesn’t mean a) that you’re poor; b) that you crawl into a hole and die. Upon point b we can add a wistful, “Unfortunately.” Speaking of holes, Teresa spies some frogs in one of the backyard ditches, which Juicy plans to memorialize in concrete. She tells the kids not to touch them, because frogs give warts. I just…sigh.
Oh God, and then we move on to Joe Gorga and his haunted mill building that he’s turning into condos or whatever. He’s with architect John Bleeker, who is also working on Juicy and Teresa’s carport. It turns out that their carport is going to look exactly like the Gorga’s carport. Oooh, NOW who’s the copycat? And even more importantly, WHO FUCKING CARES? The last time I gave a rat about copying, I was in fifth grade and pinstripe jeans were involved! God I hope they gut this show just like they did with Real Housewives of New York. I would start with the Gorgas, because they bring nothing aside from the ability to agitate Teresa. Kathy I would keep, though. She’s somehow the only person on this show who manages never to be gross, and that’s worth retaining.
Joe Gorga learns that Juicy and Teresa are building a garage, into which they plan to install Joe and Teresa’s parents. Joe is NOT thrilled about the idea of his beloved parents who may or may not speak to him on a regular basis having to live above a garage. He tells us that for the past ten years his parents have lived in a house that he owns. He decided to sell the house and now has been paying rent on it, but is looking for another little one-story ranch house for them. Or, maybe they’ll live above the garage. I’m usually all about the old people, but it’s hard for me to muster a care about what happens to the two beings whose collective DNA produced THIS. Oh my God, do you think they were COUSINS? There could be some Middlesex shit unfolding right before our eyes!
[…]
And then we are back with Jacqueline and Chris, who are reading an issue of In Touch or some similarly trashy mag that has an article all about Teresa’s combined money and legal troubles. It turns out that bankruptcy trustees allege that Teresa knowingly withheld assets, including a $250,000 advance for her cookbook. So, according to the article, both Teresa and Joe could theoretically go to jail. Jacqueline pretends not to see this as a positive development.We then head to the layer’s office with Teresa and Juicy. Their lawyer, James, tells them that they signed the bankruptcy petition jointly, but the resolution of each person will be a separate matter. It turns out that Juicy for some reason or other will not need a trial, and they’re moving forward to concluding his bankruptcy issue. Does this mean he WON’T go to jail? Or is that a separate thing? I’m on the side of whatever could send him to the clink for the indefinite future. As for Teresa, they’ve made an offer to the U.S. Trustee’s Office and the Chapter 7 Trustee, which has not been accepted at this point. If they can settle her issues, the process will be resolved much more quickly than if she has to go to trial, obviously. Teresa says that God puts you through tests in life. Don’t I know it.
Teresa adds that the whole situation has shown her who her true friends are, and Jacqueline is a true friend. But! Meanwhile, Jacqueline is upset because Teresa never talks to her about what’s really going on, and she doesn’t know if Teresa is really hurting or merely profiting from other people’s pity by putting salacious stories in the tabloids and getting paid for it. Basically, she is getting tired of Teresa’s bullshit. But Chris and Jacqueline feel like they’ve always been there for the Giudices, and even thought about buying all of the crap they had to auction off during the bankruptcy and giving it back to them. That is nice in the way that enablers are nice, which is to say not really nice at all. Anyway, Jacqueline is upset, and Chris tells her that eventually the truth comes out.
Oh Jesus, and then as if this all hasn’t been enough we have to live through Melissa Gorga hula-hooping in a midriff-baring top and hooker heels. Her sisters are there, and Kathy comes to visit too. And because they can’t muster up anything of interest on their own, they too read the Teresa bankruptcy tabloid article. Who knew that when Danielle Staub left this would become a show about people reading articles about Teresa? Maybe this is all part of Andy Cohen’s new literacy initiative? So, Kathy is still having inner turmoil about not reaching out to Teresa about her financial situation, but then reminds us that you never know when Teresa is going to freak out on you and flip a metaphorical — or literal! — table. Melissa isn’t so concerned, however. Teresa always tells her that things are fine, and plus she’s obviously the one selling the stories to tabloids for a paycheck, and has furniture now or whatever. And they’re building a garage! What could NOT be fine?
Teresa then goes to see Jacqueline, and can’t even get in the yard before Jacqueline starts maybe-fake-crying. She says that she’s always been a good friend to Teresa, even when everybody else ditched her during the bankruptcy situation. But she’s resentful about the fact that Teresa tells her nothing, and she has to learn maybe-truths from the press. Jacqueline pulls up the article, which includes the quotes about her withholding assets and maybe going to jail. She thinks it’s scary, and doesn’t know what’s true, and is afraid to ask her. But Jacqueline wants to know from Teresa directly what is and isn’t true. In response to this heartfelt outpouring, Teresa offers to give Jacqueline her attorney’s phone number. That’s awesome. Teresa claims innocence in the whole thing, and also says that everything really is totally fine, and she’s not going to jail. Jacqueline mentions Teresa selling articles to the press, and Teresa claims that she doesn’t do this. Bitch, please. Teresa basically wants Jacqueline to mind her own business, and points out that she doesn’t ask her about her private business. Jacqueline points out that this is part of the problem. Friends are there for purposes of private business sharing! Jacqueline just wants Teresa to ask how she’s doing once in a while. Chris Manzo spies on the two women with his little head poking out of the house, and notes that Jacqueline is serious about her friendships and also prone to getting hurt by assholes. Teresa admits to being upset by Jacqueline’s questioning, and we get a commercial break of mercy.
When we return, Jacqueline and Teresa are still going at it while the sun sets. Jacqueline points out that she’s not prying because she’s a busybody, but out of actual concern for Teresa. Jacqueline is the one person alive who still sees Teresa as an actual human being, and Teresa is too much of a dumb-ass to recognize this for the gift that it is. Instead, she says that Jacqueline is a) psycho; b) turned into “Heckell and Jide” with her constant shifts from sadness to attack mode and back. Well, isn’t someone cooking with cumin now! Jacqueline tells us that, in fact, she has been holding a lot of things in. For example, she noted that Teresa was tweeting Danielle. THE Danielle! And you know Danielle and Ashle(y)(e) are probably still waging lawsuits or whatever about the time that someone ripped out someone’s hair extensions. For someone who talks about loyalty, Jacqueline says, Teresa isn’t very loyal herself. Finally, under a now pitch-black night sky, Jacqueline confronts Teresa for tweeting Danielle, which is disloyal to Jacqueline and is also tempting Danielle to come back into their lives. I feel like I need a little more information to come down with a judgment on this one. For example, if Teresa merely tweeted, “Prostitution whore!” I don’t think Jacqueline can be too mad. I’m guessing it was friendlier than that, though.
Teresa gets into the details of Tweetgate, and notes that Danielle tweeted her first. We see one initial tweet, in which Danielle tweeted MELISSA (and you knew her shady ass was going to show up somewhere in this mess) the following, “Did you ever tell Teresa you were contacting me constantly?” Teresa claims that Danielle had proof that she and Melissa had been speaking two years ago, and conspiring to take Teresa down. So Teresa tweeted, “Thank you @daniellestaub for telling the truth. I’m sad but not surprised.
#famewhore.” I think I’m going to legally change my name to “:( #famewhore.” We flash back to that reunion show from ages ago when Danielle brought up the fact that Teresa didn’t acknowledge her nephew, and we were all (including Teresa!) confused about what was going on. I mean, of course Melissa was in contact with Danielle, because she is exactly that stank. And of course, Teresa now sees this as Jacqueline being the disloyal one because to Teresa’s frog-sized brain, Jacqueline is siding with Melissa.
Jacqueline tells us that clearly Teresa is using Danielle to expose Melissa, because she does not enjoy it when people like Melissa. That much we already knew. And now that Melissa has entered the conversation, Teresa gets the extra crazy look in her eye and starts yelling about how Melissa was maliciously trying to attack her about holding the baby, or maliciously trying to attack her about not holding the baby, and she can’t win. Jacqueline then says that she bets that Melissa DID talk to Danielle, but who cares? If Teresa wants a better relationship with her sister-in-law and to forget the past, as she always claims, then she might start with forgetting (or at least forgiving) this particular incident that happened two years ago. Teresa is not feeling this line of reasoning. Jacqueline does acknowledge that it was fucked up of Melissa to do such a stank thing, and that she obviously hated Teresa, but they’ve all moved on since then. Except that they totally haven’t. And then Teresa screams for a while about how she never did anything to hurt Melissa or her family, and they’re jus’ jellus. Jacqueline then points out that it’s nice to see actual emotion from Teresa, and that she’s clearly not ready to move on even though she’s tried to sweep all of this crap under the rug. Oh, here we go. Another fascinating analysis of the Gorga clan.
Oh God, and then who shows up but Caroline, asking why everybody is screaming. But don’t worry, she’s not lurking like a creeper or anything. She just came by to drop off some baby clothes that Jacqueline left at her place. Teresa is not happy to see her, and says that she feels ambushed. Caroline scowls and wonders aloud why Teresa feels ambushed. And then Jacqueline mentions the In Touch article, and Teresa claims that she didn’t put the article out there. She further claims that she doesn’t get paid for these articles and Caroline is like, duh, you told us in Chicago that you do. And then of course Caroline gets to her real issue, which is the fact that Teresa “slandered” her in that one article from last week that didn’t even have Teresa saying anything bad about her. If anyone needs to get over it, it’s clearly Caroline. She also wonders, in a rage-filled type of wondering, why Teresa didn’t say anything to her about the article when they were in Chicago. Teresa just wanted everyone to have a nice gay wedding, okay! And then Teresa stands up and her hands are gripping the ends of the table, but I think it’s one of those heavy iron outdoor tables and thus beyond even her Hulk-like abilities to flip.
Jacqueline, meanwhile, is once again sad that she can’t even be the center of her own argument. Everyone is screaming and Jacqueline tells them to shut the fuck up so she can do some role-playing about how Teresa should have handled discussing the article with Caroline. Teresa quite rightly rolls her eyes. In her words, “Holy shit. Are these bitches really role playing?” She puts out the theory that Jacqueline has lost her mind. Who wouldn’t, living amongst these people? Oh God, and then we go back to the cookbook issue. In case you were unclear, Caroline is still mad about FabuliciousGate. And in case you were wondering, Teresa still doesn’t think she did anything wrong. Then Teresa and Caroline call each other crazy as Jacqueline looks sad. Caroline brings up the fact that Teresa wants everyone else to hate Melissa and Kathy, and Teresa denies it for a minute but then is too dumb to maintain the façade and asks aloud why Caroline can’t see that Melissa is full of shit when everyone else has. Caroline is like, “Checkmate! Good day, sir!” And then she accuses Teresa of never having been her friend. Didn’t this already happen, I don’t know, like every episode since the end of last season?
Anyway, Caroline hates Teresa. She says that Teresa has been trying to poison the minds of her family members against her (by this I’m guessing she means Dina) with no remorse and no accountability. Caroline recognizes this now, and doesn’t want to be part of it. Teresa yells that she’s telling the truth, about what I don’t even know at this point. But Caroline feels that Teresa betrayed her, was never her friend, and treated her as an accessory. Teresa is like, “I have better taste in accessories than that!” At this point in time, Caroline says that she can’t be anything more than cordial to Teresa. And clearly she can’t even do that very well. Jacqueline doesn’t want to fight with Teresa, and says that for her own health she’s going to distance herself from Teresa and her family. Poor Jacqueline, she actually seems legitimately upset about it. Teresa says that she feels like she’s going through a friendship divorce, and never expected Jacqueline to turn on her. She thought they would grow old together, drinking wine and being dumb as they scooted around on their motorized wheelchairs. She tells Jacqueline that she’s sad about this whole situation, and also doesn’t need this stress when she’s maybe on the verge of jail or whatever. Teresa’s overarching lesson from all this is that you have to keep your guard up, because there are evil people out there, and sometimes they come in the shape of your friends. I will keep that one in mind!
The following is a recap of season 4 episode 8 by Wetpaint.
Carport Wishes and Fruit Cup Dreams
Apparently bankruptcy is no excuse to become sensible, since Teresa Giudice and her hubby Joe think it’s a good idea to remodel their entire house mid-Chapter 11. Deciding to take out his legal frustrations on his property, Juicy Joe toils his land by hand, unnecessarily spending money on fixing the family carports, rather than balancing their checkbooks.
Visiting their lawyer, Teresa and Joe have to pretend to listen to this poor counsel, while thinking of what type of diamonds to bedazzle their new chandelier with. Even though moving on is the goal, the Giudices seem like they want to magically erase their whole past. That’s not quite how the justice system works, kids.
Tabloid Tidbits
Back in Franklin Lakes, the Laurita household apparently doesn’t have a phone or facebook, because Jacqueline Laurita and her husband Chris get all their friend updates from InTouch Magazine. According to the latest article, Teresa may be headed to the clink right behind Joe, which throws Jacqueline into a tizzy, but also raises some eyebrows. Unsure if InTouch is financing Teresa’s renovations or if she really is just a victim of poor planning, Jacqueline is still on her side, but even she is nearing the end of her rope and wants a Bravo style sit down with her BFF.
Meanwhile, on the Gorga ranch, Melissa Gorga is hula hooping it up, showing us she doesn’t have a care in the world — unlike her loser sister-in-law. In waltzes cousin Kathy Wakile to break up her fun, with this InTouch article that is really getting its fair share screen time. Kathy is no happier with the Pulitzer Prize-worthy journalism, telling us she wants off the Teresa tilt-o-whirl, while Melissa touches up her makeup and basically directs Kath to tell it to someone who cares.
‘Real Housewife’ Teresa Giudice & Joe Gorga Fight … Right After Therapy!
Posted on Jul 2, 2012 @ 2:00AM
By Radar Staff
Teresa Giudice‘s inability to get along with others — even her own family — has been a central storyline on this season’s edition of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and on Sunday, she tried to remedy her shaky relationship with brother Joe Gorga in a therapist’s office, to questionable results.
Prior to the session, Joe admitted he was skeptical of his sister’s ability to let bygones be bygones.
“I think it’s extremely hard for Teresa to be a good friend, a loyal friend,” Joe said. “She can’t even be loyal to her family. That’s why I’m going to therapy, to make her understand what she does wrong.”
The therapist suggested she and Joe rebuild their relationships in small steps, but Teresa didn’t seem to take any of the suggestions too seriously.
One gripe Joe and the rest of the cast have made is that they suspect Teresa of trash-talking them to the tabloids.
Joe broached that very issue after the session, when he and his sister got into an argument over a tabloid report that Joe was going to sell a house he owns, that his parents live in, without making any arrangements for them. Joe suspected Teresa planted the embarrassing report, which snowballed into an argument over their responsibilities as adult children.
Teresa groused: “You’re doing so well, what’s the big deal? If I had the money, I’d f*cking give it to him.”
“Oh, you don’t have the money? Why you got this f*cking purse? That’s an expensive purse,” Joe yelled. (The money-strapped Teresa’s purse was a Louis Vuitton.)
“I mean, you don’t f***ing get it!” Joe said. “Supposedly Joe and Teresa are broke: How they hell could they be building an apartment for my parents? It paints a picture like they’re the perfect kids. But I’ve been paying the bill for 12 years, and I’m still paying the bill!”
Did Joe Gorga Pay For His Parent’s House?
July 1, 2012
For the second week in a row, Joe Gorga claimed that he had paid for his parents house before selling it (he’s apparently trying to find them a more easily accessible home) but is he really telling the truth?
While we have no reason to think Joe is lying about helping out his parents, his sister Teresa Giudice, feels differently. She recently denied Joey’s assertion that he’s been supporting their parents, simply saying that his claims are “not true.”
We have a feeling we haven’t heard the last of this debate since Joey was clearly irked at just the thought of Teresa building a place for their parents on the property she shares with her husband, Joe Giudice. Is Joe Gorga really telling the truth about paying for his parent’s home?
On June 12, 2012, Melissa wrote in her Bravo blog, Don’t Believe Everything You Read:
“Joe is a little taken aback when he is told that Teresa is building a garage for her parents. Joe’s parents have been living in a house he owns for over 10 years. We sold it last year, but they will live there until Joe finds a perfect spot to build them a new one. Joe is the king of flipping houses. He buys and sells, buys and sells. This is what he does. Joe’s parents still live in that house, so I don’t think the garage Teresa was building was for her parents. I think the framer was confused. Teresa told me they were building a room for a nanny or an au pair, but I’m not really sure what they ended up doing with it.”
One day in Montville, the Giudice family is stucco-ing the garage that Joe Giudice has just built. The girls all look adorable in matching overalls and bandannas. Milania is being mouthy, as usual. A visitor arrives. It’s Rosie! “Who’s Rosie?” one of the girls asks. You know how she is, Teresa says, and with that, we get a flashback to when Rosie was watching all the kids down the Shore (and was so harried later, she needed a drink, pronto).
Rosie is there to confront Teresa about all the stories in the tabloids, especially the ones that attack Rosie’s sister Kathy. “This tabloid [expletive] has to stop,” says Rosie, who really has a way with words.
Teresa assures Rosie that SHE is not the source of the tabloid stories and kisses up to Rosie by saying how much she’s always loved her. “I became a paper route girl because of you,” she tells Rosie.
Next comes another poolside party with the Wakiles and the Gorgas. Joe G. is not too hopeful about the upcoming therapy. “I think it’s very hard to make her understand what she does wrong,” he says of sister Teresa.
Joe then proclaims, “I’m the most sane person you’ll ever meet,” an “angel of God,” he adds.
Even this supportive crowd seems unsure about that.
Rosie shares that therapy helped her. “I went to therapy. I was an angry, angry person.”
[…] Kathy tells the camera that Rosie’s been back living with Mom for six or seven years. She also expresses hope that the Gorga siblings’ therapy will put an end to all their grudge-holding.
Finally, therapy day arrives.
Teresa tells her daughters a little white lie, saying she’s “going to lunch” with Tio Joe.
“Who cares about Tio Joe,” Milania says.
“Stop being fresh,” Teresa says.
Gia’s parting words to her mom: “No drama, right?”
Melissa Gorga then calls her husband to wish him luck.
“I think therapy is the only hope we have,” he tells his wife.
Let’s stay with the therapy story line here, then we’ll circle back to intervening scenes.
Teresa and Joe arrive at West 70 Psychology and the office of family therapist Michael Sweeney. First, he wants to talk to Teresa alone, then to Joe alone, then to them together.
We don’t know if Sweeney watches “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” or if he’s just a perceptive person, but he aptly tells a well-behaved Teresa. “I have a feeling you’re an emotional person.” Right on, Doc.
Sweeney suggests that brother and sister revive their old Sunday dinner tradition. But make sure they don’t bring along all the excess baggage.
“Old grievances get revved up….Please avoid that,” he says.
In their joint session, Teresa mentions that they’re all going on a trip to Napa, and she thinks that the Giudices should share an RV with the Gorgas.
“Don’t,” Sweeney says.
Teresa ignores the advice and says to her brother, “Let’s prove Michael wrong.”
On their way out, we hear the Gorgas bickering again. Joe says he saw a newspaper article saying that he had sold the house his parents were living in and that the Giudices were building an apartment over the new garage for the old folks. Teresa denies this. Joe wonders where such a story would come from. “Maybe Jacqueline,” suggests Teresa, who remembers he former friend talking about that supposed new apartment. Then, they argue about Teresa’s purse, a Louis Vuitton. How can she afford that if she’s broke, Joe wonders?
It’s unclear if this will be their only visit to the therapist, but sadly, it would make sense if that were so. Neither one of them seems to get the concept of therapy. They both seem to want a quick fix, without changing their own behavior. We’ll see.
Rewinding now to those other scenes…
At her Franklin Lakes home, Jacqueline has a chat with her father Jerry. She acknowledges that he’d told her never to drink beer from a bottle, but it’s her home and she feels like it, so there.
They start by discussing the incorrigible Ashlee.
“She’s exhausting,” Jerry says.
“She never accepts responsibility for the things she says or does,” Jac says.
Next topic: Teresa.
“That’s a one-sided friendship,” Jerry says.
Still, Jac says, it’s weird to go from talking to Teresa every single day to not talking at all. She adds, ”We had a lot of laughs, too. It’s a shame.”
The following is a transcript of the argument just before the fight broke out at the grand opening of Posche 2 at Moxie Salon on March 30, 2013, which aired as part of RHONJ season 5 finale (episode 18) on September 29, 2013:
Penny: Teresa.
Teresa: Yes!
Penny: Last year, you knew you’re sister-in-law was going to be setup. You knew what was gonna go down.
Teresa: You’re such a fucking liar!
Penny: What am I lying about!?
Teresa: Joe, this fucking girl is a psycho bitch.
Penny: Psycho bitch!? I don’t fight with my sister-in-law.
Joe TH: Holy shit!. I believe Penny, because what is her game by confronting her? Her game is: Teresa, you put me up to this and now you’re making me look bad? No. I’m gonna rat you out. That’s what they are, fucking rats.
Penny: You wanted to destroy her, not me.
Teresa: Show me proof. What’s the proof!? Just by you sayin’ it. That’s the proof?
Penny: Go get Kim.
Teresa: You fucking go get her, bitch!
Penny: No, cuz I don’t have to prove anything.
Teresa (screeching voice): Oh my God!
Melissa TH: Teresa is very used to people doing her doing work, and she has a lot of control over Kim D but she has no control right now over Penny and I don’t think Teresa knows how to handle that.
Teresa (screaming across the room): Kim!
Kim D: What?
Teresa to Melissa: Bitch is fucking psycho! I don’t know how you can stand here and let this bitch say this shit.
Melissa: I want to get to the bottom of why she’s doing this. Who’s got the agenda to take Melissa down!? That’s what I wanna know!
Melissa to Penny: Why do you have Teresa’s home number and cell phone in your phone?
Penny (with emphasis): She gave it to me!
Teresa: Oh really!? Get your phone! Pull up my textes! Show them!
Penny: I don’t save texteses! I don’t do that.
Teresa: Why!? What do you do, delete them?
Penny: Yes.
Teresa: I save all my textes!
Penny: I don’t do that!
Teresa (screeching): Ah, what a coincid… what a coinkidink!!! She doesn’t save the textes!! Oh my God!!!
Penny: Wow.
Teresa TH (using her hand to simulate holding a phone): Ring, ring. Who is it? Oh, it’s Penny. Bitch, you know you don’t call me. Goodbye!
Penny: I’m going to show you what kind of liar you are!
Penny’s husband, Johnny, walks in (after being held outside by producers for more than an hour). He walks over to Penny, Joe, Kim D, Teresa and Melissa (the rest of the cast is nearby, intensely watching), and greets Kim D with a kiss on the check and then turns to Joe Gorga, standing beside Penny.
Joe (extends a handshake to Johnny): What’s up man?! I’m Joe Gorga.
Johnny (as he shakes hands with Joe): How are you?
Joe to Penny: Oh, that’s your husband?
Kim D as Johnny and Joe shake hands: Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!
Jacqueline whispers to Chris: Can I ask if he said anything about our son?
Chris whispers back: Hold on.
Joe: I’m the guy, you know, that you destroyed on fuckin’ Twitter. You’re tweeting about my wife: ho, blow, blow job, this, that!
Melissa: We want to know where the hate came from! Where did it come from?
Joe to Johnny: I don’t fuckin’ know you!
Johnny: I don’t fuckin’ know you either!
Joe: Alright! So then why you talking about me? You were tweeting shit about my fuckin’ parents! I took their fuckin’ money, I sold their fuckin’ house! How the fuck do you know that!!
Johnny: I didn’t tweet anything about your parents’ money.
Joe: You did. I got it, but how do you know?
Johnny: Show me that I tweeted about your parents’ money!
Joe: I mean, I don’t understand! What are you guys doing? You’re fuckin’ my head up! What the fuck!!
Kathy TH: I have a lot of sympathy for what Joe and Melissa had to go through. Who are these people to start spreading all this negative propaganda!? How dare you!
Joe: So what’s up? Talk to me, man to man. You’re in front of me now, right? Just tell me why? Why?!
Johnny: What do you want know?!
Joe: What do you mean, ‘What do I want to know?’!!!
Johnny: What do you fuckin’ want to know?! Where it stems from?!
Joe: Yeah!!!
Johnny: Ask your sister where it stems from!!
Joe: What do you mean, ‘Ask my sister?’!!!
Johnny: Where the fuck did I get that information from?!
Teresa to Johnny: You got that information from me?! John!
Melissa: Is it true?
Teresa: John. Look at me, John.
Johnny (to Teresa): Hold on one second.
Joe: What the fuck is goin’ on?!
Teresa (sort of giggling, perhaps in frustration): John.
Penny to Teresa: You told me!
Teresa: I told you stuff about my parents?!
Penny: Yes! You told me!
Joe and Johnny are in each others’ faces.
Joe: What the fuck! You’re pointing at my sister!
Johnny: What do you wanna know?!
Joe: How did you get the information?!
John: I don’t know.
Penny (exasperated) to Johnny: John, just say it!
Joe (screaming at the top of his lungs): Just fuckin’ say it!
Johnny to Joe: You crazy mother fucker!
Brawl ensues but is not shown due to legal issues.
Caroline is screaming her head off at Kim D and Penny. Teresa tells the Gorgas that the Greeks are not in her corner. Melissa says in her talking head that she just wants it to end. Joe says in his talking head that he knew it was his sister (especially since it came from Johnny), but, in a way, he still wanted to protect her. There is discussion among the cast as they leave the salon.
Juicy, the only one unfazed by the incident (in the car to Teresa as they leave the salon): It’s a good thing I stayed out.
The following in a partial transcript and recap by Vulture of when Caroline called out Teresa (for the second time) in season 4 for a having a deal with the tabloids, which in listed on page 17 in the federal indictment handed down on July 29, 2013:
Tre
I love you.
Caroline
You’re lying.Tre
I’m not lying.Caroline
You have a seven-cover deal.Tre
You’re lying.Caroline
You’re lying.Tre
I’m not lying.Caroline
You are lying to my face right now.At which point Caroline calls Tre a “fraud” and a “disgrace.” We find out over on the men’s side that Teresa planted a (false) story in a July In Touch about possibly having a baby boy. We learn from Juicy that Teresa did get paid for the tabloid stories. Joe Guidice’s attitude is more or less “So what? Your wives would do it too.”We also learn here that Jacqueline was offered $50,000 by a magazine to write a story about Tre and turned it down. We also learn that Juicy Joe called Chris Laurita “shady” to some businessman and they fight for two seconds but then make up. They all kiss each other. More than they need to, really.
Tre turns down a bend in the road and resorts to Ophelia-style non-sequiturs when Caroline says to her face that she used to tell her to stop hanging out with the rest of the women to prove her friendship: “Just because your family has problems,” Tre blurts out. Irrelevant?
Manzo sick burn: “Hanging out with your family was the biggest blessing because all the things that didn’t make sense began to make sense.” Oww.
Eventually, Joe Guidice yells “Caroline!” from across the room, and Chris Manzo poises for attack (“If he fucking hurts my mother, I’ll fucking jump across the room and hit that motherfucker.”)
Albert Manzo does not seem to belong on this show, and not only because his flesh is not the sickly orange of a hormone-grown low-end grocery carrot: “I usually just sit in the back and pretend to be sleeping or not paying attention.” Eventually, Lauren comes to her mom’s aid.
At one point Teresa grabs Kathy’s face for emphasis.
“I don’t even know how to lie,” Tre says, and everyone basically snarfs. At least, I snarfed. This fight about old shit has actually been going on for half an hour now, and my brain cells are depleting worse than if I hooked myself up to an IV of 151 rum.
“He was an instigur.” Tre says at one point. Pauses, thinks. “He was an instigator.”
Finally Juicy Joe puts an end to all of this by announcing he has important business to attend to and the Giudices must depart. Tre shrieks something intelligible.
“She’s such a piece of shit,” says Lauren. “Why did you two start talking?” Melissa asks Caroline, incredulous. “Don’t talk!” Melissa wins for the only sane line uttered this week.
Like that moment in Fatal Attraction when the erstwhile-drowned Glenn Close springs up from the full bathtub, Tre pops back in for one final round of brief crazy, then she leaves. Joe Gorga says that he’ll continue to try to support Tre emotionally, blood being thicker than water and all, and the Gorgas prepare to leave as well.
The funniest thing about the Kathy face-grabbing incident is that every time Kathy says that she didn’t like it, Tre does it again. Caroline cries in an empty room. Yahtzee.
FAMEWHORGAS 