Melissa Gorga Takes a Dig at Joe Giudice’s Mother; Teresa Giudice Says Her Brother Projects His Guilt onto Others (Updated 7/25/2013)
“As far as what Victoria Gotti said on the episode, I think it was completely unnecessary, and as a fellow Italian woman, we all know to speak about someone’s mother in a negative way is a BIG no no! I adore Teresa and Rino, and I feel for them with what was said.” – Melissa Gorga’s Season 6 Bravo Blog, Victoria Gotti’s Big No No, August 25, 2014
The Giudice family does not like Melissa Gorga, and the feeling is mutual. In season 5 episode 4, Juicy Joe’s mother responded to Teresa bringing up Melissa’s advice book on how to have a real and sexy marriage by saying:
“Does she dress up with the mini shorts and (pointing to her chest) all open here … when you dress up like that, you look like a prostitute.”
Melissa addressed the comment in her Bravo blog for the episode by saying:
“What I don’t understand is why on Earth would Joe Giudice’s mother want to spend her de-stressing pedicure time talking about me and how I dress? I wonder if she is regretting that statement now that she sees Teresa’s bubbies have been on display all season long.”
The discord between the two extended families probably started at the Christening, which was filmed in October 2010 and aired during the premiere episode of season 3, Melissa and Joe Gorga’s first episode as cast members on RHONJ. They introduced themselves to viewers by starting a brawl at their youngest son’s Christening.
On October 27, 2010, Melissa’s camp fed a story (it has her name written all over it) to RadarOnline, accusing Joe Giudices’s mother of throwing the first punch:
In a shocking development, RadarOnline.com has learned Teresa Giudice‘s macho husband Joe wasn’t the one who put up his dukes first during the big brawl with his brother-in-law over the weekend. It was his mom!
“There were no punches thrown other than by Joe Giudice’s parents,” a source, who was at the baptism reception in New Jersey, told RadarOnline.com exclusively.
“There were rumors that Joe Giudice hit Joey Gorga and it’s not true. He did try to swing at him but there were too many people holding them back so they couldn’t get to each other,” the eyewitness said. “Joe did not hit Joey Gorga.”
Another source said Joe’s mom picked up an object and came after Melissa and her sisters. The source added that the husband of one of the sisters was also punched. “He’s okay,” the source said.
Others have also agreed the altercation was “definitely” the Giudices’ fault. “It was disgusting,” another eyewitness told RadarOnline.com.
“We were all having a good time, it was beautiful, and all hell broke loose,” the eyewitness said. “It got very uncomfortable and dangerous and we all left. It was a blatant disregard for children. It was just crazy, from the language to the gestures, the breaking of glass, cameras being smashed.”
Eyewitnesses suggested that Teresa instigated an argument and was jealous of all the attention on her brother and sister-in-law, which was caught on camera for the next season of the Bravo reality show.
“All eyes were not on Teresa and it was obvious she couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t about her. She acted as plastic and fake as she normally was and she had her edge her way in there. She was warned to take her seat and she kept insisting and antagonizing.”
On July 11, 2012, a “source” for Reality Tea said that “Melissa’s sister accused Joe’s mother of pulling her hair at the Christening, and that didn’t sit well with the Giudice side at all.”
On July 25, 2013, Teresa’s friend and co-writer of her cookbooks, Heather Maclean, tweeted that Juicy Joe’s mother was attacked at little Joey Gorga’s christening in the opening episode of season 3.
According to a former post production supervisor, the Christening brawl in October 2010 was must worse than what was televised, with extended family members (probably on Melissa’s side since nothing this bad had happened before the Gorgas joined the show) attacking cameramen and throwing their cameras across the room:
“The Christening was much worse than what was shown: the extended family didn’t want anything on camera, so what you don’t see is family members getting violent with the crew and grabbing their cameras and ripping microphone packs off and throwing them across the room. It was chaos.” – Former RHONJ Post Production Supervisor, September 17, 2012
I suspect bad blood between the Giudice family and the Marco family started at the Christening, and has only gotten worse since then. It is obvious there is no love lost between Joe Giudice and Melissa Gorga. Joe Gorga and Joe Giudice used to be close, but that is no longer the case since Joe Gorga unequivocally defends his wife’s, and her family members’, actions (they are his “real” family, as Melissa’s sisters like to claim).
The following are Teresa Giudice’s and Melissa Gorga’s Bravo blogs for season 5 episode 4.
Joe’s Unexpected Attack
By Teresa Giudice
Monday, June 24, 2013 4:14 PM
Our shore house is almost rebuilt — Joe did an amazing job! — but we still don’t have a TV there. This week, I was kinda glad though, since it was not an episode I wanted my kids to watch. It’s not an episode I wanted to be in!
I do really, really wish that Kathy would leave my dad out of the show. I signed up to be on a reality show, my dad didn’t. He’s only appeared a few times for his children, but not for himself. He wants no part of this show, he doesn’t even watch it (Thank God!), and I think you can see why. When my father is filmed with us, he doesn’t talk about Kathy’s family, and I would love it if they would stop talking about him.
If I had known 5 years ago when I signed up for a show about shopping with my friends that people were going to talk about my father’s private business, I would never, ever have joined. If you want to talk about your own father on TV, be my guest. But please, stop talking about mine.
I was surprised to see Kathy and Rosie so heated up talking about me at the birthday party. Yes, Kathy had apologized for what she said about my dad at the Reunion (I didn’t know she was still going to keep talking about him though!), but we weren’t all good yet. If we were, I think she would’ve invited me to the party I supposedly ruined, right?
When Caroline asked me about making up with Kathy, I didn’t say I didn’t want to work things out with Kathy, I did. I just wanted to work things out with my brother first. We were all in a bad place, but to me, fixing things with my only brother is a bigger priority than fixing things with my cousin. I’m sorry they took such offense to that, but I’m only one person. I had everyone come at me at once, and then everyone wanted to make up with me at once. Go figure, right?
When I finally did see my brother for the first time, I went up to him right away and tried to be friendly and goof around with him like we did our whole lives. Caroline had just told me how much he wanted to work things out with me, so badly he supposedly sent Caroline to help him, so I thought it would be may be a little awkward but still nice. Baby steps. I definitely did not expect his attack. I didn’t understand any of it then, and I still don’t now.
He’s my brother, and as mad as I might be at him, I would never hurt him in public like that. I don’t understand how he could even say half the things that came out of his mouth, directly to my face, in public in front of America. I get it that in the heat of the moment people who have deep feelings for each other know how to hurt each other the most, but still, there are lines you don’t cross. When Joey started talking about my husband’s parenting, that was it for me. He crossed the line and was out of line.
I think you can see that I’m not used to being talked to like that. If my husband really did talk to me like that, I would flip more than a trash can, I would flip him right out of the house! I truly do not understand how my brother can talk to me like that, and why he’s so angry with me… for what I still don’t know. I can’t imagine wanting to hurt anyone that much, especially my only brother. It’s like he’s not in his right mind or something.
One of my best friends’ dads is a psychiatrist, and she told me that everything Joey did was a defense mechanism to protect himself from his own feelings. He denies anything is wrong in his own life, displaces his anger at himself or his wife to me since he knows I won’t fight back, and projects things he is actually guilty of onto other people, like my husband. It does make sense to me, but it doesn’t hurt any less. I’m about to run out of prayers for him and me. I could use extra if you’ve got ’em.
I’m not going to attack back, I’m not going to go on and on defending myself, but I will say, I don’t really hide anything, especially something as silly as Botox! Um, Jacqueline, do you not remember going with me to Danielle’s Botox party in Season 1? I don’t know why we’re even talking about it now though… We haven’t talked in months and months, and this is what Jacqueline is worried about?
No matter what though, I am incredibly blessed that at the end of the day, I get to go home to my 4 beautiful daughters and my loving husband. That I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.
Thank you all for sticking by me and defending me like the sisters and brothers I never had. I adore my second family, the family I got to choose!
Melissa’s Painful Memories
By Melissa Gorga
Monday, June 24, 2013 5:32 PM
Thank God for Jacqueline with her angry Botox face. She made me laugh, which was much appreciated in a pretty heavy episode. Rosie killed me, too, when she said, “I’m not Amish.” She likes her scotch and smokes. You’ve got to love a woman who knows what she wants in life. Moonshine on, Rosie!
The scene with Kathy, Rosie, and Zia Maria was a bit uncomfortable to watch. Maria and her brother (Joe’s father) haven’t spoken in a while. It’s a sad situation for everyone involved, and a parallel to what you see with Joe and Teresa. I truly wish that all of these relationships can be repaired, or that they can call a truce and be civil. As you can see, this family does hold grudges. Some people get so used to holding the grudge it seems easier to cling to it rather than laying it down to rest.
Teresa said in her blog last week that I used “her parents publicly.” I’m going to have to disagree. As you can see, other people chose to show themselves going to the hospital. When Antonia and I went to visit Nonno, you did not see it. I didn’t want to exploit his illness on the show. Teresa is the one who kept and is still bringing up her parents. Publicly… on Twitter, in blogs, etc. Again, I’m being accused of something that someone else is guilty of. It’s as predictable as the tides.
For the record, soon after my father-in-law got out of the hospital, he and my mother-in-law came over for dinner. We cooked together and had a wonderful meal. My father-in-law said nothing at all about any bad feelings. Afterwards, Joe and I were sitting with my mother-in-law, and I asked, “Are you mad at me, or upset at all? Have I done anything wrong? Have I hurt the family in any way?” She looked me in the eye and said, “No. You’ve done nothing wrong.” Joe was right there. He and I know the real deal.
Teresa was always claiming that she never said anything negative about me. I couldn’t help but notice how in almost every scene she’s in, the people she’s with trash me while she sits there smiling, nodding, and pretending she doesn’t want to hear it. It’s either her husband, her side kicks, or even her mother-in-law! On this episode, Teresa is shown being the “good” daughter-in-law. What I don’t understand is why on Earth would Joe Giudice’s mother want to spend her de-stressing pedicure time talking about me and how I dress? I wonder if she is regretting that statement now that she sees Teresa’s bubbies have been on display all season long.
I think you can see on my face that it was all weighing on me. I looked unhappy and aggravated. A lot was going on that had me in a terrible mood. It’ll all come out soon. Suffice it to say, I’m mad at myself for letting it get to me. My usually bubbly self wasn’t there.
The gym scene. Well, it started out hilarious. Joe and I giggled about his grunts. I work out with him. He does get into it when lifting, but I didn’t think his sounds were that loud! Working out is how Joe releases stress. Some of it comes out through the throat.
What I saw from my husband’s conversation with his sister is that Teresa can dish it out, but she can’t take it. Come on girl, toughen up! I take it all the time. On Season 3, she mocked my music and called me a gold digger. On Season 4, she said I’d leave my husband for a richer man and I was questioned by her about being a stripper. We already know I’m a bad daughter-in-law. I don’t know how many more negative things I can be accused of.
During their conversation at the gym, Joe stayed calm and just threw a little shade back at Teresa. And she freaked out, threw water, flipped a trash can and stormed out. He gave her a taste of her own medicine, and she did not like it.
Sorry I’m spry, but is there a more obnoxious phrase than “pussy whipped?” I’ll die saying that a man who treats his wife with respect, who is loving, supportive, and faithful, and who comes home every night is NOT pussy whipped. In my book, that man is a king and his wife is his queen. My marriage is strong because of our mutual respect and devotion to each other. Joe and I have the relationship I always fantasized about since I was a little girl.
A lot of the episode was about my father. He was an incredible man, a loving father, and a great provider. As a husband, he wasn’t the best. It was a hard decision to write about him. But Love Italian Style is about my marriage, and my parents’ marriage is part of that story. In any memoir, the writer has to include a chapter or two about her childhood. I agreed with my team at St. Martin’s Press (love them all) that a memoir would be incomplete without it. The heartbreaks of those years made me who I am now. So Chapter 1 in my book is called, “The First Man in My Life,” about my father. I sought a partner like my father in many ways — ambitious, funny, an adoring parent — but his opposite in others. He didn’t come home every night. I was determined to find a man who did. And I found that man and more in Joe.
As necessary as it was to bring up those memories, it was painful as hell. It was devastating to go through the photos and find the card my father sent me within a week of his death. I struggled with translating those emotions to the page, believe me. Writing wasn’t easy, especially with three kids running around, screaming for cookies and juice. I had to do most of the work at night after the kids went to sleep.
Joe wasn’t too happy when I got into bed and put the computer on my lap. But when I wrote the chapters about keeping our sex life hot after almost nine years of marriage, he couldn’t wait to jump in there to add his juicy tips! Wait till you hear them!
Joe and I are old school Italian in our values. I was proud to be a housewife before I became a Housewife. We have a traditional lifestyle, but with a modern twist. Mutual respect, support in what we do, and showing affection are just as important as who brings home the bacon and who fries it up in a pan. My book is part memoir of our story, and part advice about what we do to grow together so we never grow apart. I included chapters on how to fight right, look hot for your man, handle money matters, dealing with crises, and of course fashion and beauty. Four chapters are devoted to our favorite subject: keeping things fresh in the bedroom — and other places, too.