Melissa Gorga’s Marriage Advice Spells Doom for Newlywed Woman; Melissa Doesn’t Know Her Father-in-Law’s Name is Giancinto
The following video is not an embedded ad – it’s related to the review below by Classy Norm of Melissa Gorga’s “marriage advice bible and sex book” and her writing that “girls don’t poop”:
“Girls don’t poop. Me, never have. Never will. It just doesn’t happen. Or, that’s what Joe thinks! We’ve been married for nine years, and he has never once seen or smelled my business. How have I pulled this off? I don’t do it when he’s around or awake. In an emergency, I have my ways of pooping so he won’t hear, smell, or see. It’s a challenge.” – Melissa Gorga, Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage
By Classy “Norm” (Canada), Amazon.com
This review is for: Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage
Do NOT buy this Book!!!!!! I am NOW GETTING DIVORCED because of this book!!!
I recently bought this book and took it very seriously, as I am just recently married and was desperate to have a hot, sexy, happy marriage like Melissa and Joe.
One of Melissa’s strategies in her book for a great marriage was never ever let your new husband know you POOP! Well my husband was recently laid off and was at home while he was looking for a new job and I REALLY had to poop so bad but couldn’t get away from him. I figured I would wait till he went to sleep to poop. As I was sitting on my hubby’s lap caressing his head like I always do, my tummy started to rumble and before I knew it I POOPED MY PANTS right on his lap!!! He was so mortified he ran out of the house saying he needed to get some milk at the store and has NOT been seen since!!
I would NOT recommend this book to anyone suffering with bowel issues! Ugh.
By Jennifer, Amazon.com
This review is for: Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage
Since I’m just learning to read books with lots of pages, my tutor thought this would be a good starter book for me.
Before I started, I shaved my pits and legs, gave myself a good bikini waxing, threw on some yoga pants, and put on a super hot top over my too small push-up bra. I also ordered Chinese food and put it on a plate for when my man came home.
I wrote a quick note to my “King” on the napkin next to the Chinese food. The note said: “Dear King, this is your queen. I’ve shaved, haven’t pooped, and prepared this meal for you. You can find me in my recording studio, reading my first book with lots of pages. Your Devoted, Queen.”
I don’t understand all the hateful reviews. For a first time reader, I found the sentence structure to be very simple. Perhaps this book should be required reading for middle school girls. My favorite part of the book was, “Loin & The Ram: A Wild Love Story”. Who doesn’t love a great zodiac story! I hope Melissa Gorga’s second book with lots of pages in it has more zodiac stories.
If you haven’t read this yet, download some of Melissa’s iTunes songs, strap on some headphones, and engross yourself in the tale that Melissa Gorga wove. Just be sure to properly groom yourself and put some Chinese food on a plate for your “King”.
In related news, Melissa wrote in her book that her son Gino Anthony was named after her father-in-law (see image below), and she writes his name is Giancarlo, but it’s not … his name is Giancinto!
And if little Joey’s middle name is Marco, how can he be Joe Gorga, Jr.?
She also wrote that Joe didn’t have any cousins or aunts or uncles in New Jersey growing up, but Rosie and Kathy (and their brothers) are his cousins (and their parents are his aunt and uncle), and they grew up together… in New Jersey!
Caroline Manzo Leaves RHONJ for Spinoff and Tries to Quash Rumors About Al’s Mistress Jill; Giudices Discuss Legal Issues on WWHL
“From my sources, I heard Penny showed Melissa proof that it was Caroline who was digging into Mel’s past in order to divert attention away from Al Manzo as a cheater. Caroline lost to Teresa on the cookbook deal, so she wants to make sure that she does not lose to Melissa on the chance of getting a spinoff.” – Lee, September 27, 2013 at 10:32 AM, Fame-Whorgas
A source told E! News that Caroline Manzo is leaving RHONJ because she feared producers had plans to expose her husband’s infidelity in season 6:
“Caroline wants out because she knows if she stays on the show, it’s only a matter of time before rumors of [husband] Al’s cheating becomes a storyline this season. The new girl, Penny, made allegations during filming this past season that Al had a history of cheating, but they were cut.”
On August 16, 2013, FW broke the story about Al Manzo’s affair. A source exclusively told FW that Al has been having a 5-6 year affair with a woman named Jill – the source claimed that Caroline has been aware of the affair for the past 3-4 years (FW made the blog “private” a couple weeks ago but made it “public” again on September 30, 2013 since another blogger copied a good chunk of my exclusive).
The following are excerpts from FW blogs, which were exclusives, on Al’s mistress Jill:
A source exclusively told Fame-Whorgas that Al Manzo has been cheating on Caroline for the past five or six years with a woman named Jill, and Caroline has known about the affair for three or more years, catching them numerous times, even at The Brownstone apartment. The source also says that the affair is an open secret, and in their circle of friends (Al’s, Caroline’s and Jill’s), “everyone knows” about it.
According to a source, Teresa, along with Kim D, “tried to push” Penny Drossos-Karagiorgis to out Al as a cheater on camera at the season 5 holiday PFS on December 3, 2012 because Caroline was always criticizing Teresa’s marriage, but Penny declined and explained that “she doesn’t attack without first being attacked” and said that the “Manzos have never done anything negative to, or said anything negative about, her or her family, unlike Melissa Gorga.”
According to another FW source who was present at the grand opening of Posche 2 (the season 5 finale), Caroline yelled at Penny Drossos-Karagiorgis, “You did this! This is all your fault! I hope you’re happy about getting in between a brother and sister!” Penny screamed back, “Fuck you, you old hag! And you’re all wrong! I was trying to protect you because I felt sorry for you!” She brought up Al Manzo’s affair, even mentioning his mistress, Jill, by name, but Caroline ranted and raved until the producers agreed to edit it out.
During the taping of season 5, FW sources revealed that producers attempted to make Al’s cheating a storyline, but Caroline successfully convinced Bravo to edit out the footage. E! News source said that if Caroline stayed on RHONJ, “there’s no way she would be able to keep the rumors about Al cheating quiet, and she knows it”::
“If she stayed on RHONJ, there’s no way she’d be able to keep the rumors about Al cheating quiet and she knows it.”
Caroline and her family have filmed a spinoff pilot for Bravo tentatively titled Manzo’d With Children, although it has yet to be picked up. The source for E! News explained that the spinoff is supposed to be light-hearted:
“They’re letting her leave RHONJ and give her a spinoff attempt. The spinoff will be light-hearted and family-oriented, which is the image Caroline wants to protect.
E! News’ source explained that Bravo is “very protective of Caroline and is trying to keep her happy”:
“Bravo is very protective of Caroline and wants to keep her happy.”
Meanwhile, the RHONJ season 5 finale airs this Sunday, September 29th, followed by a special WWHL where Andy Cohen interviews the Giudices about their legals issues. In previews, Andy asks some brutal questions, including:
- Do you think you could survive in jail?
- Are you worried about being deported?
- What have you told your kids about the charges?
- Would you consider letting your brother and Melissa take care of them if it came to that?
- Do you think there are people who are happy that this happened to you?
- Do you think that people watching you at home think that you are in denial about the severity of what’s going on?
The season 5 reunion (part I) premieres on Sunday, October 6th. Rumor has it the reunion was uneventful, which seems plausible since Teresa tweeted that she was happy with the results:
Teresa Giudice @Teresa_Giudice
Back home with my girls & my honey. Going to sleep happy. Love love love you all! Xx
1:13 AM – 5 Sep 13
The reunion special was taped on September 4th at the Venetian in Garfield, NJ (taping lasted 15 hours):
Andy Cohen @BravoAndy
15 hour day at the #RHONJ reunion. WIPED from all the drama. Oh, I ate jello! pic.twitter.com/w7Y2B5IH2T
11:38 PM – 4 Sep 13
Photos included in this blog are from the season 5 reunion special.
John Karagiorgis, Joe Gorga and the Lauritas Drop All Charges in Exchange for Waiver of Contract Terms to Allow Filing of Civil Suit
“Over the last week, a deal was brokered between lawyers for Jacqueline Laurita, her husband Christopher, and Joe Gorga — all of Franklin Lakes — and the attorney representing John Karagiorgis to have the charges dismissed.” – NorthJersey.com
John Karagiorgis @JohnnyTheGrk
@PDKhair Going through texts & I forgot how pretty they were On air: Tweet Text: email & face2face #WhichIsIt
6:05 PM – 26 Sep 13
@JohnnyTheGrk she (jaclaurita) is too stupid to realize that her blog and her tweets are just going to hurt her more.
5:40 PM – 26 Sep 13
At a court hearing in Ridgewood, NJ on September 26, 2013, John Karagiorgis, Joe Gorga, Chris Laurita and Jacqueline Laurita agreed to drop all charges stemming from a bloody brawl on March 30, 2013 at a Ridgewood boutique (the event being featured in the season 5 finale of RHONJ).
Joe Gorga, Jacqueline Laurita and Christopher Laurita each faced felony assault charges against John Karagiorgis. Christopher Laurita and Joe Gorga faced one count each of making terroristic threats against John Karagiorgis. Karagiorgis faced three counts of harassment and three counts of felony assault. However, in August, the assault charges were downgraded from felonies to simple assault.
According to @FauxRealityE, who has been blogging on behalf of Penny Drossos-Karagiorgis, John’s wife, “criminal charges against all cast members were dropped in exchange for waiver of contract terms to allow filing of civil suit.”
“If Bravo wants to get out of this, they could give the Greeks a million dollars and say, ‘We will give Penny a spot as a housewife.’ That would put a stop to the lawsuit on Bravo and Sirens Media (B/S). But for the rest, B/S will let it go and allow it to continue because that could be the story for Penny and her husband for next season. And all of them won’t be able to talk about Bravo or the cameras. So next season, it will be about them and the fight.” – Buck Henry, September 26, 2013 at 11:48 pm, Faux
“That’s all nonsense, IMO. The criminal charges had already been reduced to misdemeanors. No way the Lauritas would agree to be sued civally to make lousy misdemeanor charges go away. Not to mention Johnny had the same charges pending against him. What happened to those? My guess is the ‘deal’ was both sides agreed to drop their charges. And for a civil suit he’d have to show damages, no? Nobody got hurt and this is all done. Over.” – kit9, September 27, 2013 at 3:21 pm, LynnFam
Saddle_River_NJ submitted on 2013/09/26 at 8:43 PM:
The Greeks have a history with Missy. They are well aware of her background. Seasons 1-3 appear to have less ludicrous editing done. A lot of problems arose when they were filming season 4 as 3 was being broadcast. Penny probably was shocked when The Infectious Author got a place on the show and wanted a piece of it. She very well might have signed one of those contracts with sweet promises of air time. All of a sudden Slutella is playing the innocent victim and the Witch Sisters start trashing people like Bulldog, who knows the Greeks. Bravo/Sirens was probably getting everyone and their brother to sign one of those contracts *as insurance*. Get anyone and everyone with the ability to publicly expose the show as a fraud locked down. Production is now free to do what ever they damned please without recourse. Now production ratchets up the lies and deception and no one can stop them. Of course, B/S never realized that Janax is a complete loon, that the Whore of Gorgalon is as gross as she is, and that the Wakiles and Manzos are dishwater dull. Anyway – back to the Greeks. I think they came on early with better intentions but got lost in the insanity that the show had devolved to. FWIW – the Greeks actually have a very decent reputation around here and are pretty different from the characters you see on tv.
Saddle_River_NJ submitted on 2013/09/26 at 8:17 PM:
If in fact the Greeks have gotten a waiver of contract terms, that *might* mean that Bravo may actually not renew the franchise. If John and Penny were actually able to file suit, that would open up Sirens to a very messy and public accounting. And they (Greeks) could follow it up the corporate ladder. Remember Penny saying her phone was worth gold? If she saved voice mails and texts from Sirens production, that would be damning. The charges against the 3 Little Pigs were serious as individuals. But if the Greeks have saved text/voice between themselves, cast members and production, that can blow the whole franchise open if they are able to make it public. Princess Cohen would never want his image tarnished – nor would his superiors want to deal with it. Simplest solution in a scenario where the Greeks contract has been voided is to not renew the series.
John Karagiorgis didn’t come to the event “dressed to fight,” as Jacqueline testified under oath in April 2013. However, Joe Gorga did. At the event on March 30, 2013, Joe wore all black and a stocking cap (like he wore when he came to fight Angelo and Kim D at the PFS in the season 4 finale) – he wore the the stocking cap so that it wouldn’t easily slip off (he wore a white shirt and baseball cap when Juicy Joe kicked his ass in Lake George, and when his cap fell off, his black spray-on hair got all over everyone.).
On September 23, 2013, Jacqueline went on Twitter to insult the viewers by calling them “delusional haters.” And then the next day she tweeted the “tweeple,” telling them they were “the best” for showing her “love and support”:
Jacqueline also tweeted that “because it’s not in the footage,” she never hit John on the head with her shoe (she must be forgetting the fact that even if Bravo deleted or edited out the footage, there are witnesses, plus she might want to look up the word “perjury”).
The following are more of Jacqueline’s tweets and the report of the court hearing from NorthJersey.com.