Jacqueline Laurita Must Have “Bleached Her Asshole” Because She is Obsessing Over Gorga-Giudice Drama

“Jacqueline, you are a very vindictive person. If you perceive even the smallest slight, whether it’s true or not, you go directly for the jugular and are always hitting below the belt with your comments. You try to drag people into your delusions to support you. You are obsessed with Teresa and just a nasty person. I would never have a ‘delusional sellout’ friend like you. There should be a sign on your forehead that reads ‘Caution, proceed at your own risk if you’re thinking of befriending me’.” – Trippin-it, June 24, 2013, Jacqueline’s Bravo Blog

In season 5 episode 1, Jacqueline said that listening to Gorga-Giudice family drama is “right up there on her priority list with bleaching her asshole”.

“I’m tired of listening to Gorga-Giudice family drama. It’s right up there on my priority list with bleaching my asshole.” – Jacqueline Laurita, Season 5, Episode 1 (TH)

It seems she must have done so since she spent the majority of episode 4 talking about Teresa.

During episode 4, Jolene, Jacqueline’s personal trainer, comes to her house for a session, but Jacqueline says she really doesn’t want to workout. Jolene asks her if she wants to do a squat. Jacqueline says she’ll do just one. And then she goes on a long rant about Teresa.

Jacqueline TH:

“I get really angry when it comes to working out. My botox face is making a mad face [referencing the reunion show taped in September 2012]. Teresa’s got Botox face too. Lets own up to that, Teresa.”

About Melissa inviting her to the gym where Teresa also works out:

Jacqueline: Teresa was freaking out, “Why is Jacqueline at my gym?”

Jolene (with the best line of the episode): Get over it.

Jacqueliene: You know how crazy she is. You used to work her out!

Jacqueline TH:

“Melissa told me that Teresa’s upset. I went to the same gym that she goes to. I am not stalking Teresa at the gym, for God’s sake! I feel like I’m in grade school. It’s like draw the line, [in baby voice] ‘This is my space. Don’t cross the line’!”

Jolene is tuning out Jacqueline, making futile attempts to get her to workout, but Jacqueline is only interested in ranting about Teresa (“Jolene is completely disgusted with Jacqueline but she doesn’t notice because her mouth was flapping non stop”):

“She wants friends that are like, ‘You’re right! She’s a bitch!’  I was considered not a loyal friend if I didn’t do or say the things she wanted me to do to her family [Jolene interrupts to try to get her to do some triceps – Jacqueline is oblivious to what Jolene is saying]. Once she’s mad at someone, she really doesn’t forget. Like, she’ll say it, she’ll pretend, but she never really gets over it [Jolene again tries to interrupt by asking, “Can we start?’, but Jacqueline continues on her rant]. That’s what friends do, they have each other’s backs. [Jolene, at her wit’s end, says, ”Great’.] Cuz Melissa’s coming out with this whole marriage book, and all the sudden now Teresa is doing a speaking engagement at a bridal expo on how to have a healthy marriage. [Mocking voice], ‘How to have your husband call you a c!’ [chuckles]

Jacqueline TH:

“A friend of mine gave me a book that would help me recognize a lot of similarities between a sociopath and Teresa. Putting the blame on others, being able to look you in the eye and lie with no remorse, um, there’s a lot of things. I mean, google it.”

Jacqueline sat beside Caroline, intently listening while she and Melissa talked about Gorga-Giudice drama.

Caroline: You’re both harboring too much anger.

Melissa: I’m not! No, no, no! You’re wrong!

Caroline TH:

“Teresa said, ‘You don’t know the real Melissa.’ You know what, maybe I don’t. They all are holding onto grudges.”

Melissa TH:

“Listen Miss Manzo. I always listen to your wise words of wisdom. But I think you might be a little off here for once. I do argue with Teresa and we do go tit-for-tat. But I do try! It’s not my fault.”

The conversation continued:

Caroline: You gotta deal with it. Then you have attitude. Then you go home and tell your husband, and your husband has attitude… it gets deeper and deeper!

Melissa: Can I tell you guys this. I almost felt like she wanted me to be uncomfortable. I almost feel like, she’s like, ‘C’mon bitch, stop coming.’

Caroline to Kathy and Melissa: I feel like right now she is completely incapable of having a relationship with either of you.

Melissa: Why, we are her family?

“Jacqueline, you do realize you did the same thing with Danielle! How many times did we hear you say, ‘I’m not going to even say her name she is toxic’, yet every week all you did was talk about Danielle?!! You’re doing the same thing to your girl Teresa!!! Geez! Your like single white friend!! Scary!!” – piperbeau, June 24, 2013, Jacqueline’s Bravo Blog

“Jacqueline, you think you take the high road but you really don’t…you have this ‘get even’ thing about you and, in the end, you just look desperate and need to control the way people think of you.” – lovebravo12, June 24, 2013, Jacqueline’s Bravo Blog

Below are excerpts from Caroline’s and Jacqueline’s Bravo blogs for episode 4.

Why Should We Defend Teresa Giudice Against Attacks from Her Castmates?

Jacqueline: “Teresa, she’s just starting to talk to her brother again and her sister-in-law and stuff. I’m gonna make sure they make up.”

Ashlee: “Is that your place though?”

Jacqueline: “They want that.”

Ashlee: “Why would you put yourself in the middle of a potentially bad situation?”

Jacqueline: “She asked me for help. She came to me and said, ‘Help me with this’.”

Ashlee: “You tend to care about people that could potentially backfire onto you. OK, you know what? Danielle. Danielle Staub, that’s all I’m saying.

Jacqueline: “So when my friend tries to talk to me about her brother, I’m supposed to say, ‘Don’t talk to me about your brother; you go deal with him’?”

Ashlee (exasperated): “OK, mom.”

Jacqueline: “I feel like they made a lot of progress with each other.”

Jacqueline’s father interjects:  “It’s up to them.”

Jacqueline: “If they want this to work, they’ll make it work.”

Jacqueline’s father: “You have to be careful what you say and how you say it.”

Jacqueline: “That’s what I’m saying.”

Jacqueline in her TTC:  “Ashlee’s trying to tell me to stay out of drama?! That’s a little hypocritical, compared to the drama she’s put Chris and I through in the past few years.”

Ashlee in her TTC:  “This is the thing about my mom: anywhere there’s drama she tries to put herself in it, no matter what it is. It’s like, come on — she was friends with Danielle for a reason.”

– Season 3 Episode 8, ‘Holidazed and Confused’ (Premiered July 10, 2011)

By HairLikeCher, Guest Blogger
October 6, 2012

There is so much evidence that Melissa Gorga IS the destruction of RHONJ — and the Gorga family — and it has been that way since before season one even aired. Shall we look at it?

• There was a blog (On Common Ground) that was discussing RHONJ prior to season one and it had an “anonymous” poster who claimed to be a close family member of Teresa’s and who was bashing her up and down. Another “anonymous” poster was talking about Teresa’s brother and more specifically about his wife and how beautiful she is, how young and successful they are, how big their house is, etc…and how if Teresa is anything like her brother then the show should be interesting. The comments were clearly Melissa. They were also posted minutes apart from each other.

• She wrote the song “On Display” before anyone even knew who she was. It is a narcissist’s anthem about how she is constantly plagued by paparazzi and jealous haters who are trying to take her down. That might have made sense if she wrote it AFTER she were already successful. However, her music career STILL hasn’t taken off enough to be considered successful. And I repeat, she wrote it while she was filming season three…nobody knew who the hell she was. So the lyrics are basically her fantasizing about what she wants. Drama.

“Melissa co-wrote the song ‘On Display’ before her first season on RHONJ aired, when only those within her tiny circle knew her name. It’s reasonable to imagine that Melissa was stalking Teresa’s whole life since 2008, the year season 1 was filmed, and wrote the lyrics as if she were Teresa. She had all the poses, smiles and red carpet interviews practiced for years in front of the mirror. She could ‘feel the weight of the world pushing down on her’ before she was on air! Imagine that.” – Obvious Lee, April 20, 2012, Reality Tea

• Her introduction to the show was the Christening episode. Her, her husband, her sisters and her brothers-in-law attacking Teresa. Verbally and physically.

• There was the speculation that she had contacted Danielle behind Teresa’s back during season two to both feed her information about Teresa and to try and film with her. UNTIL she admitted it on camera and then it was no longer speculation, it was fact.

• For two seasons, Melissa has claimed that prior to getting on the show, she and Teresa were not speaking or getting along. Teresa has maintained that they absolutely WERE speaking. A lot of fans have questioned why Melissa would go on the show if she and Teresa were in a bad place to begin with, why would she bring their problems onto national TV? There was a very interesting comment on Teresa’s Facebook page from July 2009. It was from Lisa Marco-Simpson (Melissa’s sister) and it said something about them all having hung out together at the Jersey shore that weekend at the Giudice’s shore house and on their boat having a great time. She also mentioned that people were approaching Teresa for autographs and photos. This was prior to Melissa being cast on RHONJ and also during the time that she would have been pregnant with baby Joey. We already know that she contacted Danielle while she was pregnant with Joey because she admitted it on the show (she blamed it on her pregnancy hormones).

Back on July 23, 2009, during the airing of RHONJ season 1, Lysa Simpson, Melissa’s sister, was gushing on Facebook about spending the weekend with Teresa and her kids at her shore house:

“Lysa Marco-Simpson spent the weekend with Teresa and the kids at her shore house! was so much fun with all the starstruck people asking for pictures at the beach. then we went to her house for spaghetti!” – Lysa Marco-Simpson, July 23, 2009 at 6:22 am, Facebook

Lisa’s Facebook comment on July 23, 2009 proves that the Gorgas and the Giudices were, in fact, getting along and definitely speaking prior to Melissa being cast. How could they have all been hanging out at the shore if they weren’t even speaking? Yet Melissa told Teresa (when she admitted to contacting Danielle) that at the time she hated her. She gave no reason for it though. If you look at what Melissa’s sister said (about fans approaching Teresa) and consider that Melissa was envious of Teresa’s fame and fortune from the show, it provides the perfect motivation for her to go behind Teresa’s back and contact Danielle. Everything makes perfect sense based on that one comment from Lisa. Melissa was insane with envy so she contacted Danielle (the timeline even makes sense), gave her information to use against Teresa (which we saw at the season two reunion), schemed to get herself cast on the show behind Teresa’s back, lied about it by saying that they weren’t speaking (which is why Teresa has always said that they were speaking, because they were) and the rest is what we have seen since Melissa’s introduction at the Christening.

I honestly don’t understand how people believe a word that comes out of Melissa Gorga’s mouth. I never trusted her from the day she came on the show. She is a lying, manipulative snake, a textbook narcissist, and has no conscience. She loves herself so much that she believes everyone else loves her too and, therefore, will just fall under her spell. This is why she thinks none of her many skeletons will come out or that she can just lie about them. Because she thinks she can just charm people into falling in love with her the way she is in love with herself. And because she is so jealous of the success and attention that she witnessed Teresa getting, she is motivated by her need to prove everyone that SHE is the one who truly deserves the attention. That’s why she copies everything Teresa does – to show that SHE can do it better. The way she dresses, wears her hair, does her makeup (just look at old pictures of her for evidence of this), the way she dresses her kids, the people she uses (photographers, stylists, hairdressers, etc), the comments about whose house is bigger, who throws better parties, whose husband works harder… Everything is a competition to her because she has to show everyone that SHE is better than Teresa therefore SHE deserves the attention. She is so consumed by this that she lies about anything in order to convey the illusion that she is the better woman.

Why would anyone believe a damn word that comes out of her mouth?

RHONJ is the only reality TV show I watch faithfully since season one episode one so I am unfamiliar with how other reality TV shows and other networks operate. While I do think that all cast members should be held accountable for their actions, what I see with this show is both actions and words being edited beyond any semblance of recognition and skewed to manipulate storylines and viewer’s attitudes. Bravo does this to create a villain and justify a gang up situation. They did it in seasons one and two with Danielle Staub and in seasons three and four with Teresa Giudice. It’s to the point where the word “reality” goes out the window.

The level of production interference in Bravo’s programming makes these shows unreal – producers not just suggesting certain scenarios but digging people up out of the woodwork to create drama, befriending cast members, setting cast members up to take the fall for things they have not done, using “Frankenbiting” to put words in peoples mouths (Google it), showing scenes and whole episodes out of sequence in order to make things seems different than how they actually happened, etc.

These are things that cast members cannot possibly be aware of when they sign their contracts. They might know about it now but probably not when they signed the dotted line.

The problem with what they did with Teresa is that the contrived “Teresa as the villain” scenario was too obvious. They brought in two of her family members as main cast members, introduced them by showing an all-out brawl at what should have been a sacrosanct event, then slowly showed her two friends on the show turning against her and standing in solidarity with her family members. All while showing good editing for the other four cast members and bad editing for Teresa.

We see nothing but Teresa’s flaws – her kids misbehaving while Melissa’s kids are shown being perfect angels, Teresa’s husband saying less than admirable things while we see Rich Wakile doting on Kathy or Melissa and Joe being sexy and fun, Teresa flubbing her speech, etc. Bravo makes a point of highlighting every one of Teresa’s missteps while concealing those of the other four.

There are many MANY times where a lot of this makes no sense at all. Especially for viewers who read blogs or are on Twitter because we see how these women behave off camera, and it is not congruent to what Bravo wants us to think (meaning that Teresa is the bad guy and the others are victims).

There is a double standard being used by Bravo (and the Manzos, Lauritas, Gorgas and Wakiles) against the Giudices where Teresa’s behavior is under intense, constant scrutiny and is subject to harsh criticism by anyone who wants to be her judge and her juror while the rest of them are given a free pass every time. Much of the time, the cast can’t even produce a reason why they are attacking Teresa – they allude to things, they say they have heard things but they can’t say where, they claim to have “proof” but they never reveal it. In most instances, whatever it is that Teresa has done or is being accused of doing, is minor in comparison to the actions and behaviors of the other four. That’s why I agree that they ALL should be accountable for what they do. Yet they aren’t.

It is Bravo’s editing that allows them to get away with a lot of this bad behavior, Andy’s clear bias against Teresa that allows the gang mentality and the behaviors to be swept under the rug, and manipulation of viewers’ mindsets that has poisoned so many people against the Giudices unfairly.

It is the unfairness that makes me so “invested”, I suppose. I would never say that I care about these cast members lives more than they do or that I care about them more than my own life. But having watched since the beginning and seeing what has happened to Teresa both on and off camera, I am witnessing a fellow human being treated very unfairly from every direction, including her own friends and family. That does not sit well with me. I’d feel the same way if it were happening to someone I know.

And when a person is being treated that way, they deserve to have support from those who can see what is happening clearly. Lying, manipulation, hypocrisy, dishonesty, envy and greed do not deserve to prevail ever, especially when the truth is out there and someone works so hard to uphold it. Teresa has never changed since season one, her stories have never deviated, her values have remained unchanged, the details about who she is have remained constant. And there are viewers who can see this.

I don’t think that everything that comes out of Melissa/Jacqueline/Caroline’s mouths is automatically a lie simply because I do not like them. But if you look to the past and compare what they are saying now to things that they have said before, much of what they say ARE lies. Provable lies. Either they are lying now or they were lying before because of the amount of times they contradict themselves. All of them.

So taking that all into account, I think there is no way that these cast members can be fully prepared for everything that Bravo is going to subject them to when they sign on to be on TV. And surely, Bravo is protected completely by its contracts, which is why they get away with it. However, these people are not under contract to lie in interviews, on Twitter, on Facebook, or in the media.