Melissa Gorga Blogs “I Honestly Did Not Want to Do Therapy and Healing” at the Arizona Spa; Teresa Giudice Blogs That She is Upset with Caroline Manzo for Calling Her Superficial (Updated 10/21/2013)
During the cast trip to Arizona on March 16-19, 2013, Wyatt Webb, a therapist for 33 years, perfectly summed up Melissa, which didn’t sit well with her. In her Bravo blog for the episode, she mocked him by calling him “the horse whisperer,” and she also wrote:
“The activity with the horse was the first one where I felt well enough to venture out. As I said that morning, I honestly did not want to do therapy and healing. Not that I didn’t want to heal our family, I just wanted to relax and for everyone to have a good time and enjoy our vacation. We had just done therapy at Lake George. We needed a break
“The horse therapy seemed to work for some and not for others. I was more than turned off by the ‘horse whisperer’ sizing me up within a few seconds of meeting me. It seemed a little too contrived, but he seemed to break through to other people.
“I just wasn’t willing to go there. Part of it was skepticism about the entire idea of a horse being a Human Whisperer. Part of it was still not feeling great physically. But mainly, I couldn’t let down my guard. It would’ve taken a team of horses to kick down the wall I had up. Same thing with Joe and Teresa, apparently. Teresa and I were having fun together on the trip, but we weren’t at the point yet where we had enough trust to really open up.”
Melissa doesn’t want therapy because she’s knows a true professional will call her out on the “game she is running,” just like Wyatt did.
The following is the transcript of Wyatt telling Melissa that when she claims she is “doing something for somebody else’s benefit” she is actually working toward an outcome that benefits only herself – in other words, she is only pretending to be nice but, in fact, she is being manipulative.
Wyatt: Do you often times, when you’re working around other people, do you try to make sure they get their needs met first before you take care of your own?
Melissa: Sometimes. I think it’s just the way I am.
Wyatt: Do you ever get resentful when you feel people don’t appreciate how much effort you put into being nice to them?
Melissa: Sometimes, maybe?
Melissa TH: I’ve been nothing but nice to Teresa. I feel like I constantly wipe the slate clean, and I don’t feel appreciated. So yeah, it’s upsetting.
Wyatt: There’s a difference between being nice and being manipulative (cut to Juicy chuckling on the bench). Anytime I’m doing anything for somebody else with the hopes for an outcome, I’m running a game.
Wyatt, showing all his teeth in a forced smile, looks at Melissa and nods his head. Melissa, at a loss for words, stares at Wyatt, looking dumbfounded.
Wyatt: Is that it?
Melissa doesn’t respond.
Wyatt: Walk in again now, lets go!
Melissa approaches the horse and tries again to get him to lift his leg. From the bench, Poison Joe tries to tell her how to do it.
Wyatt: Hey! You having a hard time watching your wife struggle?
Wyatt: You know, intervening on somebody’s else’s discomfort is not always a good thing to do because if you cheat around then she don’t learn.
Melissa TH: I just met this guy about three minutes ago, so how do you know how often I lean on my husband and how much I don’t? And I’m just not feeling the whole, “I’m looking at you and I can read into your soul.” No no no no no no no no! No, no!!!
All but Richie, Melissa, Poison Joe and Teresa are successful in working with the horse.
During the episode premiere, Teresa’s friend and co-writer of her cookbooks, Heather Maclean, tweeted that both Joe Gorga and Teresa “lifted the horse’s leg” and only Melissa didn’t; Teresa tweeted that she tried again and “finally found the strength to lift up the horse’s foot” but the scene was cut; shortly after Teresa’s tweet, Richie tweeted, “By the way this didn’t air but I got all 4 of the horse’s legs up at ONCE! That’s the truth!!!”
A follower asked Andy Cohen on September 6th why Bravo didn’t post Teresa’s blog from her website, where she called producers out for not showing her “lifting the horse’s leg.” Andy replied: “Don’t know about the blog. Leg lift was hour later, all had gone.”
If they were paying attention, they would see that it is the horse that lifts his leg at the person’s touch and then the person is supposed to catch it – the horse lifts its leg for the person, it’s not the person lifting it up.
They all finish their attempts with the horse (Caroline and Al going last).
Caroline TH: I was amazed as I watched Teresa and Melissa. They didn’t open up. They didn’t get what the exercise was supposed to mean. It’s about challenging yourself in front of other people, and that’s something they can’t do. To me, that’s very telling.
Melissa (on the bench, chewing gum): Look, see, it lifts for them before they even touch it.
Wyatt (shaking his head at Melissa): It ain’t the horse (Melissa, lowers her head and scratches her nose).
Wyatt: You know why this happened so easily? Both of these people (Caroline and Al) are in touch with their emotional bodies. These guys were not guarded at all!
Wyatt to Caroline and Al: Terrific stuff man!
Wyatt: So! What might be one thing you might take with you?
Melissa, rolling her eyes, scowling at Wyatt and whispering to herself: That I can’t lift a horse’s leg.
Wyatt: Here’s what I saw. The more vulnerable you can be, the better. Every time. That’s the point. Hear me?
Teresa nods her head.
Wyatt: Thank you.
The cast returns to their villas. Teresa is talking to Melissa and Poison at their villa.
Poison: How’d you feel about today?
Teresa: I don’t know!? I mean, I really didn’t get it!
Poison: It really didn’t help me, but what I liked about him was, if you have some weakness, he was able to figure that out.
Teresa: But like, I didn’t. I really don’t have insecurities or, I feel like I am, I’m Teresa. Like, I don’t try to impress people. I’m, I’m just me!
Cut to Kathy and Richie at their villa talking about the therapy, and then back to the Gorga’s villa.
Teresa: People who have insecurities or, you know, have issues, it was a good thing for them. I was afraid of horses, like that was my big thing, that’s why I couldn’t do it.
Melissa: My thing was that we met him for three seconds so I don’t (motions with her hands like, WTF, and scowls). How could he know someone from just looking at them. He’s psychic?
Caroline TH: Everybody opened up and tried to tell their truth. I’ve said time and again that Melissa and Teresa are the same person. They just cannot open up! It’s all superficial.
Back to Poison, Melissa and Teresa at the Gorga’s villa. Teresa flicks her tongue to the corner of her mouth, licking her lips (something she’s been doing since late in season 4) and Melissa flips her hair.
Teresa: Like, I’m tired of crying. I can’t wait to do spa treatments.
Melissa: Yeah! Like, let’s do stuff like that.
Melissa faked having a sore throat AGAIN in less than three months because she was trying to avoid therapy, but Bravo must have forced her to participate on the second day. If she were truly sick enough to be hospitalized and given morphine plus four other kinds of medicine, she wouldn’t have been sunbathing and she wouldn’t have been fine the next day, curtsying and strutting like a “whore-on-a-stroll walk.”
The following is Melissa’s Bravo blog and Teresa’s personal blog for season 5 episode 14.…
Turned Off by the Horse Whisperer
By Melissa Gorga
September 2, 2013
Melissa wasn’t feeling the equine therapy session.
Hi, everyone. Happy Labor Day! Hope you’re all barbecuing, swimming and having a great time with loved ones. We’re down the shore, soaking up the last sparkling days of summer before fall madness begins. It’s going to be an insane September this year.
For one thing, we’re moving! Joe and I finally sold our Montville house. We are going to rent a place for now while we build our new home in Franklin Lakes. Packing? Not fun! I’m way too OCD about our things to let movers do it all for us. I have to make sure every plate is wrapped up perfectly and put into boxes in just the right way. Meanwhile, the kids start their new school soon. We’ve got a lot of back to school shopping to do!
And, then there’s my BOOK LAUNCH! Love Italian Style comes out on September 17, just two weeks from now. I’ve been waiting for this day for months, and it’s so close. I simply CANNOT WAIT to share the story of Joe and I with you all, and to meet you at my events and signings.
On to last night’s episode… This was a strange one for me. I’m not going to sugar coat it, when I was told we were going to a spa resort in Arizona to celebrate my birthday, this is not exactly what I pictured. I don’t even think Joe quite understood what Miraval was. Getting sick on top of it just made things worse.
The activity with the horse was the first one where I felt well enough to venture out. As I said that morning, I honestly did not want to do therapy and healing. Not that I didn’t want to heal our family, I just wanted to relax and for everyone to have a good time and enjoy our vacation. We had just done therapy at Lake George. We needed a break.
The horse therapy seemed to work for some and not for others. I was more than turned off by the “horse whisperer” sizing me up within a few seconds of meeting me. It seemed a little too contrived, but he seemed to break through to other people.
Rosie, as always, hit me in the soft spot. Just love her to death. I didn’t know Albert had had such a rough childhood. I was happy to see him open up. He is truly a great man. Kathy and Rich seemed to have a breakthrough. I think everyone’s collective jaw dropped when Joe Giudice admitted to being afraid about his legal matters. Of course, Joe and I wish the best for the Giudices and their beautiful girls. Joe’s humbling moment really moved us. He really seemed to get a lot out of the stable-side therapy experience.
I just wasn’t willing to go there. Part of it was skepticism about the entire idea of a horse being a Human Whisperer. Part of it was still not feeling great physically. But mainly, I couldn’t let down my guard. It would’ve taken a team of horses to kick down the wall I had up. Same thing with Joe and Teresa, apparently. Teresa and I were having fun together on the trip, but we weren’t at the point yet where we had enough trust to really open up. Some things can’t be willed. They have to come naturally. Pony steps…
Stay tuned as always to see if we eventually do move through the bad stuff, and get to a place of harmony and comfort with each other, which is what we all want.
Check out my newest single “Never Let Me Go” on iTunes now.
RHONJ: “The Horse Whisperer”
By Teresa Giudice, TeresaGiudice.com
September 3, 2013
Hope you are all enjoying the last weekend of summer! My kids don’t go back to school for another whole week, but we’re at the Shore one last time, grilling up a storm of course! “Fabulicious! On the Grill” is available in bookstores everywhere and on Amazon.
Well, I loved this episode & I hated it. I loved it because I really loved the entire experience in Arizona. I love new things. You didn’t see me making fun of the counselors or putting it down or whining in bed because I really appreciated everything about it. Part of life is to keep learning new stuff, and I love that. I was open to everything: the drums, the psychic, the horse, the high-wire. We were there to get some healing, and I was ready. I was tired of crying! Some good vibes and happiness were welcome!
I hated this episode though because you got to see everyone else’s full experience with Wyatt the Horse Whisperer except mine. I know they can’t show everything, but both my brother and I were able to approach the horse with openness and honesty, and he lifted his leg for both of us. For me, it was a really big accomplishment, and I’m sorry you didn’t get to see it. I’m also sorry that Melissa chose to speak for me on Twitter and say that we all regretted not opening up for the horse. I don’t regret it because I did open up! Why she alone didn’t is for her to explain…
Everyone is afraid of something, and for me, full-grown, giant-ass animals that I’ve never been around before are it! I was so freaked out that the horse would turn around and bite me or kick me or something. It’s no joke! Maybe if I had known the horse since it was a pony, I wouldn’t have been afraid of it, but I didn’t. I had a bad experience on a horse once in Aruba. And I know animals sense fear, so that made my fear even worse!
But one thing I’m not is a quitter. I like to push myself and learn new things about myself, and I didn’t want to give up. I did get the horse to lift its leg for me, I did scrape its hoof, and I was soooooo proud of myself afterwards!
I’m super bummed that some of the people that were there with me like Caroline and Kathy and Melissa, who saw me overcome my fear and work with the horse successfully, acted like I didn’t. Everyone is afraid of different things. Caroline grew up on a farm, so the horse was no problem for her. It was scary and different and strange for me. The next day when we were up on the high-wire, I had no problem, but Caroline had a melt-down. Heights are really hard for her. She was hysterical crying, and wouldn’t do it. I didn’t judge her or say she wasn’t opening herself up. I knew it was hard for her. I encouraged her, reminding her that I overcame my fear with the horses, and she could overcome her fear of heights.
For Caroline to say I’m just like Melissa, and that I’m superficial, says a lot about her character. She saw that I did open myself up to the experience, so for her to lie like that makes no sense to me. I thought we were there for healing, and I certainly didn’t belittle her for her fears. She was miserable the entire trip, fighting with Albert the whole time. And she has the nerve to say I didn’t embrace it? Disappointing.
You could see how into the whole experience I was when Jacqueline was up there crying and I ran up to give her a hug. I was just really happy the whole time, so happy we were all there to support each other.
We were filming at the ranch for hours and hours, and at one point, natured called and my Joe got up to go to the bathroom. When he was walking back, Milania called, so he answered. He waved me over so I could talk to her too. We had been there all day, and I wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything wrong at home. I missed my girls! I can’t believe of all people that Kathy didn’t understand that, but I guess she and Rich have a limited memory for things. For Rich to talk about my husband delaying legal issues is insane to me. My husband cannot control the legal system, and Rich of all people knows this. Rich’s had his fair share of lawsuits and I would never comment about his behavior in them. Shameful.
I’m glad you got to see a lot of the good times we do have though. Joe resting his head on my shoulder. Albert opening up. Caroline saying she wanted to hug Joe. Chris saying he loved me. Jacqueline and I cleaning the bottom of each other’s shoes… I think you got to see a lot of honest interactions, and different sides to all of us.
As always, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support! It means the world to me.
Kim Granatell @Kimgranatell 29 Oct
@Adam_Barta’s new music video! Wonder who it’s supposed to be at end? Looks like her! http://youtu.be/A3KpHmLpMjE #RHONJ pic.twitter.com/ob9jo5miNm
Adam Barta @bartaofficial 30 Oct
“@Kimgranatell: @Adam_Barta’s new music video! Wonder who it’s supposed to be at end? http://youtu.be/A3KpHmLpMjE is it Theresa? #RHONJ
Teresa took offense to a comment that Caroline made in episode 14, where she asserted in her confessional (TH) that Teresa and Melissa were both superficial. In her blog for the episode (see above), Teresa said that Caroline and her husband Albert fought the entire time the couples were in Arizona on a retreat for Melissa’s birthday. And then during part two of the season 5 reunion, Caroline called Teresa out on her blog. Teresa said the comments she made in her blog were based on heresy: “That’s what I heard,” and that said she wrote those things because she was hurt that Caroline said she was superficial. The following is a transcript of the discussion about this between Teresa and Caroline during reunion 5.
Teresa: You hurt me by saying I was superficial.
Caroline: I didn’t attack you. I made a simple observation over one moment in time.
Teresa: Well, I was really hurt.
(Let the record reflect that Teresa once said she would only live in a brand-new house because used houses are “gross,” although she did recently say she regretted that comment because it gave people the wrong impression about her – that she was superficial.)
Caroline: Thirty seconds of time that you are now harping on ’til the day I freaking die. You have decided to take everything that I have done for you and your family and just sweep it under the rug and discount it …
Teresa: I apologized to you.
When Melissa attempts to say something, Teresa cuts her off: This is the third season now. One starts, the other jumps on …
Andy Cohen asks Teresa: Them telling you how they feel is jumping on you?
Melissa: I feel like the only way to be good with you is to do what Jacqueline is doing right now and not say a word.
Teresa reiterates that she was really hurt by Caroline’s comment and wants her to admit that Teresa does have a good heart. Caroline says she can’t say that is true. Caroline tells Teresa that she needs to move forward and get over it. And then Caroline gets REALLY mad and starts shouting at Teresa.
Caroline: I’m not gonna hurt you. I won’t consider you an enemy. I consider you somebody I used to know. That the way I have to do it for my own sanity.
After part one of the reunion special aired, both housewives took to their Bravo blogs. In Teresa’s October 8 blog (see below), she accused Caroline of pretending all season and continued to harp on the comments.
‘When Caroline said I didn’t take the therapy in Arizona seriously and called me superficial, it hurt me,’ Teresa wrote. ‘Who is she to call me superficial?’
Calling Out Caroline (Excerpt)
By Teresa Giudice
October 8, 2013
Teresa gives her side of the argument with Caroline.
Of course, I’m not perfect, some things did get to me. When Caroline said I didn’t take the therapy in Arizona seriously and called me superficial, it hurt me. Who is she to call me superficial? She was there and saw that I was taking it seriously, that I was bonding with my brother, and that it was important to me. I went to Arizona with an open heart. I was serious about working out our issues, and got a lot out of it. We all experienced something different out there. I don’t pretend to know her intentions, but she pretends to know mine.
When I was writing my blog that week, it occurred to me that that’s what Caroline was doing all season: pretending. She was trying to put out that she was this happy, changed person, but didn’t embrace it as much as she pretended to, she didn’t even go up on the high wire. So I pointed that out. It wasn’t the nicest thing to do, but I was upset. I knew she would read it and not be happy because she’s Caroline Manzo! It’s this crazy, unwritten rule: no one is supposed to ever point out anything about her or her life. She can only talk about ours. It wasn’t a big deal, it was just a little shade in return for her lying about me. Not very mature I know, and I’m sorry for it. And I apologized for it immediately to her face, but of course, she didn’t apologize to me. To be expected. I didn’t expect it to be such a big deal at the Reunion, but I guess that’s a good sign that the Reunion was pretty calm, cool, and collected since that was our “big fight.”
I wish when Caroline and I were talking that everyone else didn’t keep jumping in. That’s my least favorite part about the Reunions, everyone talking over each other. If the conversation doesn’t have to do with you, keep your mouth shut. Why is Rosie jumping in to tell me how to talk to Caroline? It’s like they love to jump on other people’s bandwagons so the talk doesn’t come back around to them.
Speaking of pretending… Everyone can pretend they’ve never heard of Penny and Johnny, that “these people, these strangers, these roaches” were brought into our family by me, but they all know it’s not true. We live in a small town and we ALL cross paths with the same people all the time. The sad part is after all this, I’m very cautious now about who comes up to be friends with me because everyone knows who I am, and I don’t know them or their families or what their intentions are.
As I’ve always said, I personally have only seen Penny and Johnny at public events. When I heard that they were trying to get Penny cast as a new Housewife on Twitter, I started staying away from them because they were bashing Melissa to do it. I know some people think you can get cast on a show by offering to bash people already on it, and apparently it does work sometimes, but it’s not my thing, and I wanted no part of it. I get it that lots of people want to get on TV. If you can get cast, God bless you. Just please don’t do it by bashing my family. Be fabulous and interesting and have a great life that people want to watch and I’m sure Bravo will call you!
Like I said on the Reunion, I’m done done done with all this family drama. If anyone wants to keep believing I did things that I didn’t do, that’s on them. I’ve apologized, I’m trying to move forward with my life, and to me, that chapter is closed. I’m never going to get to that ugly place with anyone again. I just won’t allow it. I won’t allow anyone to drag me in.
RHONJ Reunion: I’m Stumped! (Excerpt)
By Teresa Giudice, TeresaGiudice.com
October 14, 2013
Alright, so how do we close out this season? I’m sorry to say that we didn’t close it out on the Reunion exactly how we did in real life. There’s a lot of footage to go through since we taped for 15 hours, but happily we did end with a lot of love and peace and forgiveness. I’m really proud of everyone, myself included, for that. We’ve all been through a lot together, and I think we’ve all grown and learned from our mistakes.
My “final words” last night were NOT final words about the season and not at the end of the Reunion after we’d all made up, but final words about what we all talked about with Dr. V. Right after Dr. V. left, there was still some confusion about the argument between me and Caroline and I wanted to make sure it was set right. Caroline does a great job of putting words in other people’s mouths. One time in reference to her actually being older than the rest of us, I said she was “older.” She twists that around and says I said “you’re old and you only have a few good years left.” Um what? I express how happy I am to see hope for Jacqueline’s and my friendship, and Caroline says, “You said Jacqueline is your only true friend.” No I did not. I usually don’t care, but I’m not going to have her, of all people, call me a liar.
Truth be told, I really don’t care that she called me “superficial” — not anymore anyway — but the day I saw it on the episode it bothered me because she is a faker. Fine. So I wrote in my blog that she puts on a front and her and Albert were really miserable the whole time. The funny thing is it wasn’t even on my Bravo blog, but on my personal website blog. I didn’t think she read my website, and I certainly didn’t expect her to bring it up at the Reunion and get so dramatic about it. It wasn’t a lie and she knows it. She is miserable every single trip we take and yes, we’ve all seen her fighting with Albert. She did it in Italy, in Napa, everywhere. It’s not like I said (or ever would say!) someone was cheating or anything. I was just pointing out that she’s not as honest as she pretends to be about her feelings, so she shouldn’t judge others.
And I don’t know why she took my comment as such a big deal though because it’s not. All married couples fight. We all just don’t work so hard to pretend we don’t. That was my problem, that she’s so quick to pass judgment on everyone else’s marriage and finances and even our emotions, when she isn’t honest about herself. Remember the whole “You heard it here first” comment from her about me and Joe? She had numerous times to take it back and refused. Fine, that’s who she is. I just wanted to let her know that I don’t play her game. But I am big enough to see that the whole thing is petty and stupid, and I did apologize directly to her.
I didn’t love that she was talking about my finances on the Reunion, but at the time which you didn’t get to see, Joe defended me immediately, and I defended myself. I do work hard and make my own money. You haven’t seen my husband buy me an Hermes bag or brag about fancy cars. We’re really not like that. We bought our house for $500,000 and we’ve lived in it for 12 years*. We took a “used” house and fixed it up. We’ve both of us worked hard every single day.
Anyway, I would never go backwards at the end of the Reunion when everything was settled and good to bring up the Caroline “superficial” comment again. Believe me, I’m not that superficial! Caroline and I hashed it all out like you’re supposed to do at a Reunion, and then it was over. Why it was moved to look like I brought it up again, like I was harping on it, is beyond me. I’m stumped! I wish they could’ve left the Reunion as it really was: we were all at peace with each other and happy.
I was kind of hoping that Danielle or Kim D. or Dina or even Penelope Cruz would have come out when Andy was teasing us. I would like to see everything resolved with everyone. But I guess that’s for Season 6…
Again, from the very bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone for sticking by us.
*Note from Fame: The Giudices have not been living in their current home for 12 years, as Teresa stated in her blog. They weren’t even living in the mansion while season 1 was taping – they took loans to finish the renovations more quickly so they could move into it, but it wasn’t finished by the time season 1 started taping in 2008 – Teresa would not let Bravo tape her at her primary residence at the time – the “hole” that she was living in, as described by Danielle in the season 1 finale. RHONJ season 1 premiered on May 12, 2009 (10 episodes) – in the last scene of the season 1 finale, after the infamous table flip, Danielle was carping about Teresa and her former home before moving into the mansion:
“Teresa’s threatening me as I’m leaving. She goes, ‘You’re lucky you’re leaving in one piece.’
“I would take her down. She talks. She ‘Blah blah blah blah.’ I just looked at her like, ‘Are you kidding?’
“And let’s not mention the little hole she was living in before she moved into the mansion she’s living in now. Frickin’ linoleum floors. Unfreakin’ believable.
“I don’t take threats kindly. Dina threatened me once and look where it got here – her whole family turned against her on that one.”