Teresa Giudice Talks About Reunion 4 and Answers Viewers’ Questions
October 1, 2012 278 Comments
By Teresa Giudice
October 1, 2012
Teresa shares her thoughts on Caroline and Lauren’s struggle with weight.
Like every Housewife in every city, I think filming the reunion is one of the worst parts of our job. It’s a long, long day, it always gets ugly, it’s hard to sit through and even harder to watch. At least this year I knew what I was walking into: I knew the other cast members, even my family, were going to band together to bash me. Last year was a total shock. This year was just sickening and sad.
I think one big difference between New Jersey and the other cities though is that most of the women on our show prepare for weeks for the ambush. They write little notes and look over every little thing I ever wrote. They’re so desperate to make me look bad. Here’s the thing: I don’t care. I know who I am and I don’t need to prove it to any of them. And I’m certainly not going to waste my off-camera, family time looking up words in the dictionary and making obsessive lists about them. For one, I’m not obsessed with any of them. If none of them had showed up at the Borgata, I think me and Andy could have still filmed a good show. For two, I’m not desperate to prove them all wrong, because they prove it all by themselves in every blog and every interview. I don’t have to dig all the way down to vocabulary words (and PS for the millionth time: spell check! It’s not hard!) because I’ve got nothing else. Their lies and contradictions are right there in black-and-white and there are far too many to list!
I do never know what crazy angle the other women are going to take at me, so my strategy is to sit there and be as calm and mature as I can. As calm and mature as anyone can filming all day with 10 people coming at you! I’m not an actress, I don’t practice in the mirror at night, so my reaction isn’t always perfect. But I’m not perfect. I’m just me.
I’m not proud of everything I said at the reunion, but I am proud of the things I DIDN’T say. As they were yelling at me, I kept reminding myself not to say this or that about their private lives, I kept thinking about Dina and her and Caroline’s mom, Nettie, and family stuff I did not want them to hear me say. It was a struggle because they attack me so viciously and yet they have their own skeletons, their own public scandals and newspaper articles and financial problems that don’t get discussed on the show, because I won’t discuss them. They do it to me, but I won’t do it back. So when Caroline fired at my appearance, yes I fired back. It wasn’t a great moment, but I can only be pushed so far.
Once we started going there with each other on our appearance, I guess it opened a can of worms for me that has really bothered me for a long time: Caroline’s hypocritical and crazy unhealthy view of herself and how her view upsets her daughter. First of all, I have no problem with Caroline’s body. Everybody is different and every size can be beautiful. But you have to own it, not lie about it. What I can’t stand is that Caroline has for years talked about how she loses weight naturally, she even did interviews on her “portion control,” meanwhile she’s hiding behind a secret surgery. I’m sorry, I don’t like that. It’s one thing to keep your private business private, but then don’t go being the poster child for natural weight loss and lying to everyone. And especially when you’re lying to the public, you’re helping create this body image lie that young girls are suffering from. Imagine if I told everyone I got bigger bubbies because I just took a certain vitamin. Guess what? It’s not true and that’s not fair to the public who really wanted to know how I did it.
Then you had her big storyline all season: hovering over Lauren’s shoulder and obsessing about her weight. I would NEVER allow that to be my storyline. Poor Lauren. When Caroline said in one of her on-camera interviews that she “couldn’t even relate” to Lauren’s struggle because she’d “been tiny her whole life,” I realized what the problem was: Caroline. You should embrace your children and how they look, not constantly remind them how miserable they are, making them even more miserable.
And let’s get this straight: Lauren was 185 pounds. Not 285. She’s 24. Do you think major surgery chopping up your stomach is the answer for that extra 30 pounds? I don’t. The ones who are sending out the bad message to kids in America are Lauren and Caroline for acting like Lauren was a prehistoric beast before and the lap band saved her life. The lap band surgery is a miracle for some people, for people who are extremely unhealthy, who have tried everything, who’ve had babies and are older with slow metabolisms. Look at Lisa Lampanelli. I know she tried everything, and the lap band worked wonders for her. She looks amazing! That’s the person who should get lap band, not a 24-year-old with a controlling mother. Sorry, but that’s my opinion.
I do want to apologize to anyone watching and any of my friends and family if it seemed like I only think skinny is beautiful. That’s absolutely not true. My mother is the most beautiful woman I know and she’s not a toothpick. My husband isn’t super skinny and I call him “juicy and delicious.” He’s sexy to me. My friends are all different sizes and all beautiful. What your body looks like doesn’t matter to me at all (unless you’re a big public hypocrite about it!). I know the “blubber” comment was really random, so I want to explain where it came from…
I have a habit of remembering certain words when I hear them and using them later in a totally different way. Like when I heard about John Mayer saying Jessica Simpson was “sexual napalm” I thought that was a really good description of how something clings to you, and I used “napalm” in my blog. Before the reunion my friend and I were talking about how I feel bad now about how everyone treated Danielle. I didn’t see it, how bad everyone was to her, until last year. And my friend was like: “It’s like your living in a Judy Blume novel! You’re in Blubber! You were friends with the mean girls and you didn’t realize how mean they were until they turned on you!” I guess I just had that in my head and “blubber” came out! I didn’t plan to say something so crazy, the word was just in my head. I was thinking about a book about mean girls, not trying to be a mean girl! Sorry!
There’s really not much more to say. Rosie shocked me, but then again, she really didn’t. I think you got to see a bit more of the Kathy that I know… And Melissa and Jacqueline… stay tuned because their crazy is just getting started!
Thank you all for your kind words and support! Follow me on Twitter @Teresa_Giudice or visit my website at http://www.teresagiudice.com for more information on my appearances, where to buy Fabellini, Milania Hair Care, and PearlBrite!
By Teresa Giudice
September 25, 2012
Teresa Giudice answers some of your burning questions from the finale.
I have to start by thanking you all! Thank you all for caring, for your wonderful messages, and tweets. Your support means the world to me!
I also want you to know that as much as I love, love, love the Team Teresa support, I get that you are also Team Family and Team Gorga and Team Everyone. And I love that too. You can love all of us or none of us. We’re all humans and we’re not perfect. I even get why some of you might like Melissa. Sometimes I like Melissa. If anything, you’re getting a good picture of what knowing Melissa is like: she can be fun and sweet and you think things are going to be good, and then she twists on you, lies, does something nasty, and you’re just like: why? Why couldn’t you just be all nice? Or at least all real? But whatever. I can’t change her. She is who she is. I’d like to say you know her true colors, but I think this is only the tip of the iceberg. I think she’s so worried about painting a certain picture of her present, glossing over her past, and trying to decide who she wants to be in the future, that she doesn’t even know her true colors.
Here’s one thing I know: you can’t lie to your fans. You can lie to yourself, you can lie to the media and they’ll still print your lies hoping to make money off them, but if you lie to your fans, eventually you won’t have them (or you’ll have to buy fake ones…). People will forgive your shady past, forgive your mistakes, but you have to be honest with them. They won’t forgive liars. I’ve known this since day one, and I’ve always told you all the truth. I tell you the things I can’t or won’t talk about, like open legal cases or my parents’ private business, but I never lie about them. I’m proud that you can go through all of my blogs and interviews since the very beginning and there are no inconsistencies and no lies. I might be naive about things and I don’t always have all the answers, but I remember where I worked, when I went to college, where I met my husband, who I’m related to, if I have an arrest record — all helpful for telling the truth!
I’m sorry my blogs are so long sometimes (I’m sure this one will be huge!), but I respect all of you enough to take the time to explain things like the magazine covers, like my family’s history, like what it actually says in my cookbooks, especially since other people like to just throw bombs — “She did this and I have the secret texts to prove it!” — and run away. You have all stuck by us these last four seasons through bankruptcies and sicknesses, family feuds and heart breaks, and I think you all deserve the truth.
So here are answers to the questions I got from you all the most this week:
Why was Joe’s brother Pete Giudice at the Fashion Show? (I got this one a lot!) Pete wasn’t there randomly alone. He came with his wife, my sister-in-law, Sheila, her sister, and a bunch of other guys. It’s a big event for our town every year and it always sells out. And yes, there are always guys at the fashion show — go back and watch any other year — remember Greg Bennett begging to sit next to me at the first one? — but our hubbies usually don’t come. I didn’t know Pete was going to be there or believe me, I would have dragged Joe along too!
Why did I go to the new salon with Kim D? Because she asked me to go with her. And it was just for make-up, not hair. And it wasn’t just some random place. They were a major new sponsor of Kim’s fashion show as you could see from their name on the step-and-repeat, Chateau Allure Salon. Kim’s fashion show raises thousands of dollars every year for charity, and I support it. So do all the other ‘Wives. I know Melissa now calls it a “trashy party,” but that’s only since she started supporting a competing local fashion show. And Melissa seemed pretty excited when Kim D. asked her to walk in the show last year… I don’t want to forget my old friends just because I got more popular and met new ones.
Am I friends with the people who owned the salon? No. It’s owned by Johnny Karagiorgis (@JohnnyTheGrk on Twitter) and his wife Penny Drossos (@PDKhair). I’ve met them at a few of my appearances, and they seem nice enough. I know they like me, I just don’t know them very well. I only heard after the fashion show that Penny and Melissa don’t get along, but like I said last week, I can’t keep up with everyone in our town that doesn’t like Melissa! All I can do is tell people not to talk about my family and excuse myself from the situation, which I do every time, even to Kim D! I have heard since then that Penny used to be a special needs teacher and has a Special Needs day every week at her salon where she pampers kids and adults with special needs, which is pretty amazing.
How does Penny know Melissa? I don’t know, you’d have to ask her. From what I understand, it’s actually Penny’s family member, not Melissa’s, who owned Lookers (weird thing to lie about). Maybe their argument is from something back then.
What kind of club is Lookers? I have no idea. I’m seriously confused. Melissa says it was a “bikini bar” but that she only wore a tank top and sneakers. Then she said Lookers was a club for “older men with money. You’re in a bikini, you hand them a drink, they’re like ‘Here’s $100 bill.’ I’d be stupid not to work there!” (Yes, Melissa, very stupid… I had no idea stupidity is why I had no money in college… I thought it was my morals…) She worked there a day, a week, a year, her family owned it, they didn’t, I have NO IDEA. Google the place at your own risk.
Why didn’t I warn Melissa about Angelo after I met him at the salon? I had no idea he was going to the fashion show too! I thought when he came up to me at the salon, that was it, and I could tell Melissa later. I didn’t want to ruin a nice evening at the event by talking about it that night. When Angelo showed up and came up to the table, my heart was racing. I don’t know anything about Melissa’s true past, so I had no idea if he was a threat or not, but I was prepared to defend Melissa if he said anything. But all he did was say hi and left. Left the table and then left the building (and I chased him down)! I never met the guy before that day. I didn’t even know his name, I walked around calling him “the bald guy” all night. And I was never near him, never next to him, nothing (or you would have seen it!). The first one to use his name was Melissa in the bathroom. She immediately started calling him “Angelo” — which looking back now is weird since she claimed she didn’t recognize him.
Why did Angelo say Kim and Teresa wanted to “blow the whistle” on Melissa? If you watch from the beginning of his conversation, you see that Angelo wasn’t talking about me and Kim first-hand because he didn’t know us. He was retelling a second hand conversation. He was talking about Johnny, the owner of the salon, telling him that “Kim and Teresa want to blow the whistle” on Melissa. That’s Angelo retelling Johnny’s opinion. Maybe he heard wrong, maybe Johnny did say that, I have no idea because I don’t really know Johnny either. Maybe Johnny thinks I would like to see Melissa taken down, but he’s wrong, I didn’t and don’t, and I never said anything like that to anyone. I know what it’s like to have your family betray you publicly. I would never wish Melissa’s family secrets to come out. Your family is supposed to be your rock. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
What about Angelo saying “Teresa knew”? Ask Richie Wakile about things coming out of your mouth like last week’s “Kathy tastes like fish” comment… I don’t know what Angelo was referring to, but he was very clear a week later in a taped interview that I didn’t know him and had nothing to do with it. I did NOT know Angelo, and I did NOT know Melissa was going to be “set up.”
What did I know? Keep reading…
Who was the secret person texting Jacqueline? Good question. I’d like to know too. Especially since none of our “mutual friends” were at the salon that day and the party. And Jacqueline said she was going to send the texts to Melissa that night. You know those two would have put them on Twitter immediately. Why didn’t they? Please, tell us, because no one is buying the “you’re a loyal friend” excuse.
Why am I still friends with Kim D? First, maybe it’s because I still feel bad for how my brother treated Kim that night. You didn’t see the half of it. It was s-c-a-r-y and my brother knows it.
Second, it’s not just me still friends with her, it’s Caroline and Jacqueline too. Why aren’t they freaking out too and defending their new best friend Melissa? Maybe because like me, they don’t really think Kim D. did anything that terrible to Melissa. The worst thing you can say about Kim D. is that she knew a guy was going to say, “Hi, remember me?” to Melissa. That’s really not a big set-up in my opinion. It’s not openly evil, like appearing on the cover of a magazine (with my picture, thank you, thank you very much!) talking about me and my family and telling horrible LIES about me. So a good question might be why is Kathy still friends with Melissa after this week? I’m Kathy’s blood family after all. And Kathy was sooo hurt that I mentioned one of her husband’s insults to me, which she admitted he did, in an interview.
She’s not upset by Melissa’s recent interview lies? And why is Melissa spreading lies now? I know why, but you’ll have to wait until the reunion to see it. PS: Is her Victim Tour 2012 over yet? Anyone?
Did anyone else notice how in the bathroom she immediately turned on me when I told her not to call my brother (which by the way, if my whole evil plan was to out her to my brother so they’d get divorced, I would have welcomed him coming down!) and reminded me I had “nieces and nephews at home.” She always does that, she always uses her kids to hold me hostage. She keeps me away from my family. I can’t win for losing with her. She says I should never have told her about the guy, then that I should have told her earlier. I’m damned if I do, and damned if I don’t. You could see how used to this I was, her readiness to twist this to my brother, to hurt him and me. She doesn’t care who she hurts. I know my brother’s temper and I didn’t want him to get in a fight and go to jail. Why wasn’t she concerned about this??? She was begging him to come, then she blamed me for him coming! She will use anyone.
I didn’t know until I watched the episode that Melissa was egging my brother on in the car. She didn’t want him to drive away. She had no proof of anything, she wasn’t even really “ambushed,” but she had the perfect opportunity to get my brother to hate me. So she took it and ran with it. She told him to roll down the window and she knew exactly what to tell him that would push my buttons: “Tell your sister ‘Shame on you!’” She kept repeating it, even under her breath as we were talking, “Say shame on you! Say shame!” That, to me, is sick. It’s not me watching a lie from Caroline or a rumor. It’s me watching Melissa in action. Sick, sick, sick.
So, last question: What’s the big deal with Melissa dancing or not dancing anyway? Like I said last week, and I said on Twitter right after the fashion show “leaks” about the “set-up” — it is no big deal. You know, I’ve been around the Housewives franchise for a while now, and I’ve seen this before. And no one ever cares. Doesn’t every city have an ex-stripper? NeNe admitted she was a stripper. No one cared. Bethenny’s topless B-movie came out. No one cared. And they are the two biggest Housewives ever. Even if Melissa was a stripper, I KNEW no-one would care. If I wanted to “embarrass” Melissa, it wouldn’t be for something no-one cared about!
My guess as to why Melissa is so hot and bothered about this whole non-ambush thing? Because it’s probably only the tip of her past’s iceberg. Maybe there’s something else Melissa did back then that she wants to stay hidden because people WOULD think is a big deal, especially since she’s a mom now, especially if she still does it… I don’t know, and I hope never to know! I guess I’m actually thankful this all happened now because when the real Marco skeletons come out, I’ll be far far away from her and she can’t try to blame me for those too.
OK, last question…
Finally, yes, I did see Melissa’s US Weekly interview. Is that 3 weeks in a row now they’ve put me on the cover? It’s amazing to me how many times US Weekly uses me to sell magazines when they’ve only sat down and interviewed me ONCE back in Season 1. My favorite was when they just reused the exact same cover picture that In Touch used 6 months earlier. That’s an amazing reporting team right there…
I hear those of you who say I deserve it, that I did the same thing. It’s easier to say when you’re not in the world of tabloids and television ratings, but I do want to explain how I handle it the best way I can. What Melissa and the other women accused me of all season was basically running the magazines and having complete control over everything. We all know that’s not true. Even though Caroline mocked me for the headlines, she knows, we all know, they write something to sell. I know Melissa didn’t write the US Weekly headline. I know she didn’t even get to pick which shot of her (or me!) they put on the cover (at least I hope she didn’t choose that shot…). I know Melissa can’t control what “sources” say in the interview. She doesn’t even know if her “story” will make the cover until it comes out. I don’t blame her for any of that. I don’t even care if she made a million dollars for the story. All I can hold her responsible for is the actual quotes that come out of her mouth. Read all my old interviews. Tell me what I actually said that was untrue or even hurtful. I talk about how I feel, I tell the truth about my life. I wish I could say the same about Melissa, but I can’t. Her lies are absolute garbage and right from her mouth. That, at least to me, is a huge difference in how we handle being in the press.
I got a million calls from the press for my response, and I’ll be honest, I didn’t want to talk to anyone. But obviously they are going to write about me whether I give them quotes or not, whether there’s any truth to it or not. There was a time when I was really upset to be in the magazines, when it was all new to me. But this is my life now. I’m on television, it comes with the territory. But I don’t have to stoop to their level. I can tell my truth and still have something positive come out of it. So I decided while everyone’s waiting to hear what I have to say (because they won’t always care), I’ll use this opportunity to also tell people about good things, about good causes.
Last year, right after the fashion show and Season 3 reunion, I entered Celebrity Apprentice world. I went to several charity functions with the Trumps and got to know about NephCure. I had never heard of them before and I was really excited about the possibility of bringing some much needed national attention to a great cause. I worked so hard to stay on as long as I could so as many people as possible would learn about NephCure. I think I helped them, but in a lot of ways, they saved me too. Raising money for people with real problems, for sick little kids, saved me from falling into a pit of self-pity from the way my family and friends treated me all season. It felt so good to be away from the tiny little bubble of New Jersey Housewives who have nothing better to do with their lives except obsessively text about secret texts… to use my brain and my business skills and my experience up against 18 other unique, talented and accomplished people. It felt so good to get outside of myself.
No, I haven’t really seen or spoken to the other Housewives and my brother in almost a year. And while that made me really sad, on a lot of levels I really flourished being away from their negativity. My kids are doing amazing. I celebrated my 40th birthday on an island with my hubby and my closest friends. My third cookbook hit the New York Times bestseller list. My Fabellini and Milania hair care line was launched. And my heart is full as I continue to work with NephCure.
So I decided to do a magazine interview… but only if they would also talk about NephCure. Because at the end of the day that’s what’s important: being a good person and helping other people, not letting haters drag you into the mud with them. I hope you’ll buy my magazine interview story because it really is my words, and I hope you will support NephCure (www.nephcure.org) or whatever charity helps you save others… and yourself.
Thank you all for being there for me and making me a better person! I love, love, love you all!
If you have any other questions for me or just want to chat, follow me on Twitter @Teresa_Giudice or visit my website at http://www.teresagiudice.com.